I was fascinated by this little miracle. It was like a training school for how to take care of a baby. I watched and learned and was little like a second mom. I loved to hold her and sing to her. She would let me hold her for along time in the rocker on the back porch as long as I was singing. I think it was probably our best bonding time.
As she got a little older she really was an adorable little girl, her pretty blond hair like a cloud of gold around her face. She began to become her own person and I spent a lot of time with her. I played with her and helped her and read to her and she would stick to me like glue, following me around whatever I was doing.
But the reality is that she was 12 years younger than I. That's a pretty big gap. As she started school, I was already in college! She was in 2nd grade when I got married, so we never had the true sister to sister experiences of growing up together. She was a part of my life, but before long I had a baby of my own and a life separate from hers.
Her life experiences were so different than mine, other than having the same parents, we had very few similarities in our childhoods. She grew up in the urban environment of a big city, I was a small town girl. She lived in one place from age 6 or 7 until she was finished with college and got married. I moved more times than I could count and lived in multiple different towns. She went to Catholic school all the way through high school. I was in public schools from 7th grade on. She went away to college and I went to a "commuter" school. She chose a profession (Pharmacist) and stayed in school through a five year degree program. I never finished college. I was married at age 19 and a mother at age 20. She married after college and didn't have kids until she was about 26 (I think, its hard to remember exactly.) I've been married forever, she is now divorced.
Our personalities are different too. She will avoid conflict whenever possible, I am confrontational. I liked the pink cats, she like the blue but wouldn't SAY so! (This is an inside joke just for Little Sis!) I have rarely seen her angry, I am angry half the time! She has a wicked sense of humor that pops out at just the right moment. A lot of people don't even know when I am joking! However, she always gets my jokes and she can make me laugh at the drop of a hat. I tend to want to talk everything to death, while she holds things in and doesn't go in for long conversations exploring her feelings or experiences.
|Little Sis and her children, Matthew and Christina|
Tomorrow my "Little Sister" will reach her 55th birthday. It's hard to think of my baby sister being that age. (But then it's hard to think of being MY age!) Despite all our differences, we still are alike in many other ways, But our lives have been different. We have different interests, different experiences, and different desires. Those 12 years have never become completely irrelevant. I struggled with bridging the gap. I always wanted to be best friends forever but the years and the paths we took never quite allowed that to happen in the way that I wanted.
I realize though, that being best friends forever has never really been a realistic goal. We both have several great friends, a couple of which are even considered to be "best friends." The reality is that we each only have one sister. She is the only person who has known me all of her life, the only person who loves me as unconditionally as only a sister can, the only person who shares our family history, and the only person who understands what that means. She's my Little Sis and I will love her and be grateful for her and for everything she has brought to my existence all the days of her life. I miss her and wish we were able to enjoy each other's company more often, but I know that we share a mutual admiration, pride, love, and caring unlike any other relationship in our lives. She's my Lil' Sis and I am her Big Sis and nobody could ever change that. A best friend forever?? Nah, she is something far better, she is my SISTER.
|My poor wounded Lil Sis! |
She's been dealing with that broken wrist for nearly two years!!!
Happy Birthday Deb! I hope you have as wonderful day as you deserve!! Wish I was there to sing you Happy Birthday in person!