"Old Friends"

I am very fortunate, well, for a lot of different reasons, but the one I am speaking of right now is that I am very fortunate to have several "Old Friends" that I have always considered to be my BFFs (Best Friend Forever)!  There is Janie, whom I've known since the third grade -- my childhood BFF; then there is Flossie, my BFF from high school and beyond; after that came Cathy --  not only my BFF from my middle years, but also my music making BFF; and about a year or so ago, I met T (actually Tamara) when we were in a show together.  She quickly became my new BFF and is also one of the partners in our new theatrical venture...."The Hourglass Players".  Not very many people can say they have four best friends so I feel very blessed!

My first two BFFs are basically the same age as I am (give or take a few months), the other two are about 8-12 years younger.   All four of them became my friends because of some shared interests, shared experiences, mutual respect, and we share an ability to laugh together!  Janie lives in Arkansas and has been married for 45+ years, Flossie is in Florida, married late then divorced just a few years later and just married again this last summer,  Cathy is in Chicago and married her hubby twice (it's a long story), and T lives here in the Austin area and has been married for around 35 years (I think), And of course, there is me, living in Austin and coming up on 48 years of marriage to the Big Guy,

Interestingly enough, none of them know any of the others and they are vastly different from each other.  But for whatever reason, some twist of fate brought them into my life and they each fill a part of my soul with friendship that I treasure unconditionally.  

We are the kind of friends who understand each other, support each other, laugh together, cry together.  We can be open and honest with each other.  We can even disagree and argue a bit, but it doesn't affect the friendship at all.  We accept each other for who we are.....no games, no backstabbing, no unmet expectations.  I know that I could contact any of them in the middle of the night if I needed to and they would be ready to listen, give help and comfort for what ever reason.   I can count on them and conversely they know that they can expect the same from me! That is what makes them my best friends.

I may have mentioned that I don't have tons of friends, at least not as many as a lot of people seem to have.  It is usually difficult for me to make new friends. I'm not sure exactly why that is so, but it is.  According to Facebook, I have 103 friends and they are spread all over the country and are of many different backgrounds and lifestyles, I've known some of them for years and years through work or theatre or some other interest.  Others I really don't know well, but I like them and want to stay in touch.  Still others are little more than acquaintances.   That's why being able to say that I have FOUR best friends is downright amazing to me!

They are the type of friends who you might not see for long stretches of time.  Nevertheless, when we do manage to get together, it's as if we'd never been apart.  That is a wonderful feeling to have about special people in your life.

Fortunately all of us appear to be in reasonably good health, good physical condition, and fully present in our minds and in our lives.  This is extremely important to me.  I want them all to stick around forever, because I sure can't even imagine not having any of them in my life.

When they each received the designation of Best Friend Forever, I meant exactly that....Forever Friends.  And so far, our forevers have lasted a good long time and I am deeply grateful and happy to be able to say that I hope our forevers go on a whole lot longer!

The only real complaint I have about my four BFFs, is that none of them regularly read Mellodee Musings!!   In fact, I don't think a couple of them have ever even seen it!  Silly girls.........I mean, really!!  Of course, they all already know just about everything there is to know about me, so I guess its okay.  Still, wish they'd show up here once in a while!

Otherwise, how will these "Old Friends" ever know how very much they mean to me?     :)

"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do"

I will never understand why it is so hard to start a good habit, break a bad habit, or re-start a good habit that you broke!   Changing any behavior pattern is never easy.  Like change in any relationship, "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do!"

For the last several weeks I have had lots of things to write about but somehow I just haven't been able to get back to writing.  For instance:

*  We have a brand new roof that turned out great; but we're still waiting for approval on the deck replacement and addition of the pergola.  The urgency is somewhat mitigated by the weather, it's been a lot cooler, not always good outdoor weather for me.  Maybe it will get done in time for Spring!  Maybe!

*  I'm in rehearsal for "Side by Side by Sondheim," a musical review of Sondheim's early works.  Having a  really good time with it.  This is the first musical I have done since moving to Austin!  That's 13 years!!  New group of nice people, makes all the difference!

*  In the early stages of discussion of establishing a new theater group with two very good friends!

My baby,
the world traveler!

*  Ratchlet went to Shanghai, China representing UT in discussions about a cultural exchange of some type!  She was gone for a week, had a "fabulous" time, but is still suffering from jet lag even though she's been home for almost 3 days.

*  Neither Ratchlet nor I nor Mikey was able to attend M-t-G's first band concert this year.  First one I've missed.  So sorry, sweetie!  I hope it went really well!  I won't miss the rest!!

*  After my trip (see below), I returned to a house with no kitchen sink or water, partially torn up counter tops and a mess. It's a big project and I knew Mike would be working on it, so it didn't come as a huge shock. I hope that it won't take a millennium to finish, but I have lived through Mikey's projects before.  It will take longer than he expected, be more work than he hoped for, but will be gorgeous in the end.

*  And the piece de resistance??  I went to a multi-class High School reunion that was just the best trip ever!  Saw and reconnected with so many old friends, met some spouses, caught up on nearly 50 years of history, ate, danced, laughed, talked, hugged, and generally had a wonderful time. I was even able to spend a bit of time with the mother of one of my old friends.  She is 90 years old, very much present, and still  a hoot.  What a dear lady, I've always loved her.   Through the extreme generosity of my oldest best friend forever, Flossie, I stayed in her lovely new home with a beautiful view of the lake the town is named after.

My good friend , Bart A,  he and I danced and danced.

It was going home for me and made me realize yet again how much I love that town and especially so many of the people in it! I'm still feeling sad that one of the best experiences of my life is over. Again, the memories will have to serve! I'll never forget it and I'll always love the special people I saw. Lake Wales NEVER lets me down!!

I'm sure there are other things that have happened since my last post, but this is a start.

So here it is, Resolution #375  to Start Writing Again.  I will get back to this. I will!  Really!!  (I hope.)

"Sing Me No Sad Songs"

In the last four days, I have lost two friends. That's hard to bear.

 The first, Kay M., I have known since I was about 15 as we were in high school together. She was a year younger than I, but in a small school, being in different classes isn't as much of an obstacle to traveling in the same social circle. The second, Doug A., I have only known since last July as he was our Tech Director for "Bus Stop".  Both deaths came as enormous shock and I am deeply saddened.

Of course, the two of them didn't know each other.  They were my friends at different times, in different places,  and for different reasons.  They probably would have liked each other.  I certainly liked them both.

Kay's mother, who lived with her,  had died during the last year when she was well into her 80s.  They had been very close.  Kay was divorced, her daughter grown, with children of her own and living half a country away.  Kay was an independent, bright, open-minded, and funny lady.  She was a writer.  She had literally just moved from FL to TX a few days before Christmas to be close to her daughter.  She went into the hospital within a day.  She had some sort of respiratory problems that took her life last week.

Two days after learning of Kay's death, I learned that Doug had also died suddenly.  Doug was much younger than Kay (in his early 50s), married, father of two daughters and was highly energetic, driven, and committed to whatever he took on.  He was the father of one of our cast members and offered to do lights for the show.  Over the course of rehearsals that turned into lights, sound, set building, re-wiring, some props, and he even fixed the air conditioning.  Doug was one of those people who saw a need and just did it!  And did it well.  He was extremely efficient and I was hoping to work with him  on many more shows.

There is a memorial service for Doug tomorrow which I will attend.  I don't know about plans for celebrating Kay's life, but I am sure that they will be forthcoming and will be fitting to the dear lady she was.

Although I considered them both friends, the reality is that I didn't know either of them extremely well.  In some ways however, they were quite alike.  The both loved life, had many, many friends, and were positive people, who got things done.  And I am positive neither of them would want their friends and families to be sad and grieve for a long time.  I know Kay, and probably Doug, would both say, "Sing Me No Sad Songs."

So I will try not to.  I will just say to each of them....I'm glad you came into my life.  Thank you for sharing yourself and your gifts.  I will miss you.  May you Rest in Peace, my friends.

"My Kind of Town"

Surprise!!  I'm still here!  Haven't been sick, haven't died, haven't quit blogging!  The last month or so has been particularly busy and I just haven't had the time to write very often and when I did have the time, I didn't have the inspiration.  Plus for the last 9 days we have been out of town.

Yep, that's right a VACATION!  Whee!  We haven't been on vacation together for more years than I can remember. I won't fly and the Big Guy doesn't like to travel so convincing him to go anywhere has been impossible.  Not that that stopped me.  If I wanted or needed to go somewhere I went by myself!  That was okay, I like road trips.  But this time, I managed to convince him we needed to go together.

A little background here as to why we needed to go to Chicago.  We have a long history with our very best friends,  Cathy, Tim, and Helen.  All of us are singers.  Cathy and Helen and I had been a trio for over 15 years and all five of us had worked together on several "performance" events over time. When we moved to California in 1991 leaving them was the hardest part.

We drove to Chicago to attend the 30th Wedding Anniversary celebration of Cathy and Tim.  We had told them we had several conflicts (including M-t-G's elementary school graduation) around the time of their celebration and we obviously couldn't be in two places at once.  They concluded (as I intended) that meant we wouldn't be able to come for their celebration.

It was, however, an erroneous conclusion! We had fudged a little on the dates of our "conflicts" and we missed M-t-G's actual graduation (with her permission!)  We actually surprised them by showing up at their home the night before the big party!!  It was terrific!  My dear friend, Cathy, must have said "Oh my God!" fifteen times when she opened the door; then the very next thing she said was, "I have to change clothes!"  She had been doing all the things one does before a big party around her house and she was dressed for that, not entertaining guests!!  But we convinced her we didn't care about her clothes at all!!  Tim had not been home when we showed up and when he got home, he said "Oh my God" at least ten times!!   It was so funny!   I love surprising people and they were really glad to see us as I knew they would be.  It was terrific.

We saw several other old friends at the church and party the next day.  Everybody kept saying, "Oh my God" when they realized who we were!!  What a hoot!  One of the highlights of the party was close to the end of the party one of our friends asked the trio to sing and we did!!  Even though we hadn't rehearsed and hadn't sung together for an audience in 21 years!!  It was amazing how many songs we remembered and how we still pretty much sounded good!  I almost miss singing with the trio more than anything else.

Through a fluke of timing (life is funny that way), not only were Cathy and Tim home for Saturday, Sunday, and Monday (Memorial Day), they were home on Tuesday and Wednesday too.  Helen joined us as soon as she finished work and the five of us spent the better part of all five evenings together!  We talked, ate, sang, and laughed for hours on end.  Like with all true friends, it was as though we hadn't been away at all.  It was just the best ever!

Of course, Mike and I didn't totally monopolize their time, each day we tootled around Chicago driving by places we had lived or worked or went to school.  We visited the grocery store and stocked up on a few things that aren't available in Austin.  We went to all our favorite restaurants and had memorable meals of all our old favorites.  Chicago has, obviously, changed; after all, we haven't lived there since 1991.  A lot of things can happen in 21 years.  Nevertheless, it was recognizable and felt like home.  We each realized how much it still feels like "My Kind of Town".  If it weren't for the cold, cold weather and the snow and ice Chicago is a great place.

It is, however, a huge city and in some ways it feels mostly like a big set of highways with a few residential and business areas thrown in!  Traffic was pretty awful.  After being there for those five days we had pretty much had it with the traffic!  We were ready to come to back to Austin traffic which, although getting worse every day, is still a snap compared to Chicago!!

It was a great trip, and we were both thrilled to be able to spend time in our dear old home town and with our dear old friends!

Must admit, however, getting back home last night (and sleeping in my very own bed) was pretty terrific. Seems like Austin is "My Kind of Town" too!

"Younger Than Springtime"

I've always gotten along pretty well with friends of my daughter's and other folks I have encountered who are her contemporaries, not mine, but I seem to get along with them anyway.  I like to think it keeps me young....either that or it proves I have an arrested development!  LOL!

My daughter has a good friend, Mike,  from her high school days, a really nice boy who grew up to be a really nice man.  They were never an "item", their friendship was more of the brother/sister variety.  They have stayed in touch ever since.  In actuality he has become a friend of the family over the years, he was a member of Rachlet's wedding party, and we all have a mutual interest and friends in theater and performance.   

Fairly early on Rachlet's friend became a single dad and he and his son have always been very close.   Mike has been an involved dad and I don't think he could have possibly been more proud of his son (who has always been as cute as he could be, just like his dad). 

Mike's son had a birthday this weekend.  He turned 25.  Happy Birthday, Tommy!  Congratulations on your great son, Mike!

Sooooo, Mike is one year older than my Rachlet....and he has a son who is 25....which means Rachlet, technically, could also have had a child who could be 25...she doesn't, of course, but she could .....which means I could have  a grandchild who is 25....I don't, of course, but I COULD....

And that, my friends, makes me officially Older than Dirt!!!

"Younger Than Springtime??"    It's not as easy as it used to be!   :)