Monday, December 31, 2012

"Sing Me No Sad Songs"

In the last four days, I have lost two friends. That's hard to bear.

 The first, Kay M., I have known since I was about 15 as we were in high school together. She was a year younger than I, but in a small school, being in different classes isn't as much of an obstacle to traveling in the same social circle. The second, Doug A., I have only known since last July as he was our Tech Director for "Bus Stop".  Both deaths came as enormous shock and I am deeply saddened.

Of course, the two of them didn't know each other.  They were my friends at different times, in different places,  and for different reasons.  They probably would have liked each other.  I certainly liked them both.

Kay's mother, who lived with her,  had died during the last year when she was well into her 80s.  They had been very close.  Kay was divorced, her daughter grown, with children of her own and living half a country away.  Kay was an independent, bright, open-minded, and funny lady.  She was a writer.  She had literally just moved from FL to TX a few days before Christmas to be close to her daughter.  She went into the hospital within a day.  She had some sort of respiratory problems that took her life last week.

Two days after learning of Kay's death, I learned that Doug had also died suddenly.  Doug was much younger than Kay (in his early 50s), married, father of two daughters and was highly energetic, driven, and committed to whatever he took on.  He was the father of one of our cast members and offered to do lights for the show.  Over the course of rehearsals that turned into lights, sound, set building, re-wiring, some props, and he even fixed the air conditioning.  Doug was one of those people who saw a need and just did it!  And did it well.  He was extremely efficient and I was hoping to work with him  on many more shows.

There is a memorial service for Doug tomorrow which I will attend.  I don't know about plans for celebrating Kay's life, but I am sure that they will be forthcoming and will be fitting to the dear lady she was.

Although I considered them both friends, the reality is that I didn't know either of them extremely well.  In some ways however, they were quite alike.  The both loved life, had many, many friends, and were positive people, who got things done.  And I am positive neither of them would want their friends and families to be sad and grieve for a long time.  I know Kay, and probably Doug, would both say, "Sing Me No Sad Songs."

So I will try not to.  I will just say to each of them....I'm glad you came into my life.  Thank you for sharing yourself and your gifts.  I will miss you.  May you Rest in Peace, my friends.


  1. It is amazing the effect death can have on-even on people that we are not really close to and know only as acquaintances. Maybe it is part of the process of aging that hits us...that people that are younger than we are seem to be gone in a moment. That is why I try to celebrate every moment of life that I can...because, in truth, not one of us knows the day or hour when it will be "our turn". Blessings to you for a Happy and Healthy New Year- xo Diana

  2. I have lost a few friends this year I knew very well, the others were from my church. I am sorry your 2012 ended with loss Mellodee. I like to think of them as not gone...but gone ahead.


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