WARNING: This one tends to ramble even more than usual! Sorry!!
In yesterday's post I referenced "choicy chops of useless useful information". So before someone starts asking about that phrase, I will provide an explanation gratis! Believe it or not, that linquistic pearl did not originate with me.
In actuality, I was introduce to the phrase by my BFF in high school, Flossie. We lived in a pretty small town in Florida and like many small towns there was only a weekly local newspaper. Even though it came out only once a week, there really wasn't all that much going on regularly to use up all the available space, so the paper ran some miscelleneous syndicated columns to fill in the blanks. One such columns was titled, "Choicy Chops of Useful Information". A small column filled with odd and little known facts about almost anything. I can't recall who authored the column, but wasn't that a GREAT title? "Choicy Chops of Useful Information" I've never forgotten the title and have been known to...ahem.... borrow it from time to time (e.g., yesterday!)
Now these weren't revelations or anything, just stuff to fill up space. One fact I particularly remember for some bizarre reason is that fish swim upstream at 3 mph and the average man walks at 3 mph too; so if the man walked along side the fish, they'd get to the end at the same time. Absolutely fascinating, right??? Well, I thought so when I was 15 (like I said we lived in a very small town! We were easily entertained.)
So that is the source of the phrase, but whenever I use it, it reminds me of one of the major pleasures of living in that particular small town. I was fortunate enough to make a friend who seemed to me to be perfect in every way. One of those down-to-the-soul friends that remain friends your whole life!! Even though I rarely see her anymore, Flossie and I still keep in touch, albeit sporadically. It never matters tho, when we talk we just sort of pick up where we left off. We still connect and "know" each other as well as anyone ever knows someone else. I not only liked her, I liked her mom and dad a lot.
I am willing to publicly declare here and now, that theirs was a family I always wanted to be a part of. Dad was a highly respected physician in town, Mom was a member of every club in town, and always seemed elegant, classic, and sophisticated to me. She was the very embodiment of the word "lady" in my teenaged eyes. They even had a live-in housekeeper/cook/family retainer, Lolo!
The three kids, Miz M., and Dr. M. would have "Interesting Discussions" every night at dinner. Flossie often told me what her family had talked about the night before, everything from politics to sports to philosphy to the wisdom of Thomas Jefferson! They often discussed the facts published in "Choicy Chops" that week. Wow! It all seemed so "New Yorker" magazine!! I wanted them to adopt me. (Sadly, they never offered.)
Flossie was closer to her Dad, but he intimidated the 15-year-old me a little. On the other hand, I found Miz M. fascinating and I guess I had a little hero worship going on. She dressed beautifully, her hair always coifed in an elegant French Twist. She was funny, both intentionally and unintentionally! Flossie was always telling me something about her family or her mom that added to my fondness and appreciation of this lady. I have two favorite stories about Miz M. I'd like to share.
At some point Flossie told me that her family used a particular word when talking about homosexual men and women. (This was way back in the early '60s....political correctness was still a nightmare years in the future.) Anyway, one evening at dinner the discussion turned to homosexuality. As they were talking Miz M. was trying to recall the derisive word she had heard used to describe homosexuals. Someone in the family prompted her with "just remember the underwear brand", at which point the light bulb went on and Miz M. called out triumphantly, "Looms!!" Of course, the word became the family's own private joke. Don't you just love the innocence of that?? LOOMS! I love it!
The second story took place many years later. Flossie let me know that Miz M. had suffered several debilitating strokes and although she was still living at home, she had 24 hour care. She was unable to walk, her left side was badly impaired, some of her speech was a little difficult to understand. Nevertheless, her mind was alert and sharp and she was still her gracious funny self.
It happened that around that time I went back to my high school 25th reunion in the small town, and was invited to dinner with the family. As coincidence would have it, that same night was Miz M's 75th birthday dinner. When I discovered that, I tried to beg off, not wanting to intrude on a family occasion, but the family, including Miz M., wouldn't hear of it! So I somewhat reluctantly agreed to go.
Part of my hesitation was that my memory of Miz M. was so clear as a woman of substance and elegance. Seeing her incapacitated would be difficult. And in addition to that, good manners dictated that I bring her a gift. Whatever in the world could I get her?? She was either in a wheelchair or her bedroom all day, she couldn't read very long anymore, her diet was restricted, she spent all of her days in her home and only got out for doctor visits. None of the gifts I would normally consider would do. They just weren't right. After a lot of thought, I finally settled on a rather unorthodox present.
When I went to their home, to my delight, Miz M was every bit as charming and welcoming as she had always been. She, of course, had many physical difficulties. But conversation was light and lively and she was still a woman I respected and admired.
After we ate, the family presented their gifts one by one, till it was my turn. I was so very nervous, suddenly afraid that my choice would offend her or someone else in the family. It was too late, I had nothing else to give her, so I took a deep breath and gave her my gift. The photo below is a geode, similar to the one I gave Miz M. I set it in front of her with the back/exterior facing her.
I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something along these lines. I'm giving this to you because I think it is just like you. The outside shows all the effects of time; time, and gravity, and the elements have worn the outside so that at first glance its just a worn out old rock. [Then I turned it around to face her.] But the inside, oh, the inside still sparkles and glows and is just as beautiful as it always was! That is just like you, you have a lot of problems with the difficulties in your arms and legs, but your inside still sparkles and glows and is just as wonderful and beautiful as it has always been. So put this were you can see it and everytime you're feeling worn out and low, look at the geode and remember that the you on the inside, the real you, is just as alive and wonderful as ever and that is what is important.
Just a few "choicy chops" of useless useful unformation:
** I'm feeling a little guilty that I haven't been writing much lately. I have, however, been reading a lot lately. Blog people are a lot of fun and the range of attitudes and subject matter is quite interesting. I'm realizing, tho, that blogging (both the reading and the writing thereof) can take up more time even than games! No wonder half of my Christmas decorations are still up.
** A small Maddie-the-Great story: A couple of days ago Maddie and TA were in the car and the news announcer said something about predicting that night would be the coldest night of the decade! "Wow!" said M-t-G, "Did you hear that, Daddy? The coldest night of the whole decade!!!" She was very excited about it. T.A. asked if she knew the meaning of the word, decade. She did. So he asked when the current decade started. "The year 2000?", said Maddie, said she. They got that part straightened out and when he asked her when this decade started she said "2010?" By this point she began to see where the conversation was going and her participation became a little less enthusiastic. "What's today's date? "January 6" "And so how many days ago did this decade start?" "Six days ago." She could see then that the decade was only 6 days old too, and being the "coldest night of the decade" was not such a big thing after all. So, our M-t-G got another lesson in "Don't Believe Everything You Hear!"
T.A. uses this strategy a lot with Maddie, trying to get her to use her reasoning skills more regularly. A fine parental technique. But the sad thing is that she wasn't all excited anymore. The news announcement was no longer anything special. It was just a trick with words. Nothing more than a disappointment.
A big part of me would rather keep her the little girl that does believe everything she hears for just a little longer....that's part of what makes her a kid! She'll be bright her whole life, but she's only going to be a kid for a little while longer. Does every lesson has to be taught at the earliest possible time? Sometimes its hard being just the grandmother! You can be proud of me though, I didn't say a word!
** As a matter of fact, the news announcer was wrong! Tonight is the coldest night of the decade! A low of 15F is predicted. I will be staying indoors until the thermometer hits at least 30F.
** NEWSFLASH: The Darwin Awards for 2009 have been announced! As always, they have managed to identify the dumbest people who have walked the earth last year. For those not familiar with this organization, here is their stated purpose:
Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.
Just a sample for your entertainment:
Go to: http://darwinawards.com/darwin/darwin2009-09.html for the historical record of Winners. The 2009 winners and nominees can be found at the site.
When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.
Truly if you've never encountered these before, it is definitely something that will amaze and confound you !!!
** I have always loved words and writing and reading, this you know from previous posts. When you combine them into one thing you get a book about words and writing. I have several of this kind of book and I got two more for Christmas. The first, from Little Sis, is "Zen and the Art of Writing", by Ray Bradbury; the second, from Ratchlet, is "Reading the OED" [Oxford English Dictionary] by Ammon Shea.
Thanks guys! I can hardly wait to read them. After I do, I'm sure everyone will see a marked improvement in my writing and word usage and I will undoubtedly impress you all with my new-found skills. I will accept all kudos and accolades as my due!
Oh....okay, okay.... my writing probably won't change one iota and that's fine. I don't want to turn this into WORK after all. I will, however, enjoy reading my new treasures and will again be in awe of people who can really write to the level that they can be published and earn actual money for their efforts! Those are the folks that impress me!
No more "Bits and Pieces" today. In the immortal words of Woody Woodpecker, or Porky the Pig, or one of those, "Th-th-th-that's all, folks!" Nighty-night!
Well, I hate to admit it, but I occasionally make mistakes! (Gasps all around!!) Yes, it's true. When the mistakes build up or there is one that is egregious, I must, then, put up a post for "taking care of business".
As you might have guessed, I have a big ol' mistake to correct (hangs head despondently). Don't know how I managed it but I gave the incorrect date for the end of the world!! OH HORRORS!
It's good news really, at least if you were depending on me for information on this rather important announcement. Okay, are you ready? Sit down, grab on to something, here it comes....
The end of the world is supposed to occur in December, 2012 NOT December, 2010!!! See, I told you it was good news! Two more years for everyone! Wheeeee!
"What??", you say. You haven't heard anything about the world ending in either 2010 or 2012?? Well, you did if you've been a faithful reader of this space.
Back on December 3, in my "Bits and Pieces" posting, I blithely stated that according to the Ancient Mayan Calendar the end of the world was predicted for some time in December 2010.
Well, no, that's wrong. According to the Mayans that awesome event is due two years later, in December 2012.
I knew better, I just kept typing it wrong!! I think it had to do with my getting reved up to typing 2010 instead of 2009 (that sounds like a good excuse, huh?) Maybe it was that I should get my glasses checked? Or maybe it was pure laziness....not taking the time to check the facts;
mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!
Any mistake I normally make is usually due to poor proofing reading and perhaps that's true this time as well. It's just that, this is such an important matter (or not, if you don't think the Mayans actually knew what they were talking about), I'd really hate to think that any of my readers were out there preparing themselves for the end of the world two years too soon! I'd sure be standing here with egg on my face.
On second thought, don't pay any attention to those old Mayans at all. If they were so smart, how come you don't see many Mayans hangin' around any more? I'm just sayin'.....
Another bunch of things I just don't get:
1. How come, if there is Global Warming, the winters seem colder than ever?
2. How come taking down Christmas decorations takes so much longer than putting them up?
3. How can anyone keep up with all the changes, modifications, improvements, new releases, new gadgets, and adapters that are needed for anyone to have an up-to-date and complete computer set up?
4. How can anyone afford #3?
5. Speaking of affording, how can sooo many young couples with little children afford to live in these $1M-plus homes?
6. How come clouds, which are made up of nothing more than water, water vapor, and dust, can effectively block out the sun which burns with an unbelievable heat?
7. How come so many people immediately take down their Christmas decorations on Christmas Day?
8. How come it takes a long time to drive somewhere, but the return trip always seems faster?
9. How come reality TV is soooo popular when its so often about showing people at their worst?
10. How come grass doesn't grow in the winter, but weeds do?
11. How come left overs of even your favorite foods can look so unappetizing after only one day in the fridge?
12. How come you can use a gallon of moisturizer on your skin and the next day you still look like a thousand year old snake?
13. How come some people always have such incredibly good luck and others never do?
There you have it, a baker's dozen of questions for today to make you ask, "What's the Use of Wonderin'?"
The new year of 2010 is one hour away from being one full day over, there are 364 days left til we again sing "another Auld Lang Syne". Every year brings change and variety and unexpected events. Where will we all be at this time next year? Who will still be here next year? What will be invented or discovered or revealed that will change our lives? Will this be a year of excitement or a year of boredom? Will there be financial recovery? Will there be a functional health care system? Will there be more good news than bad?
What celebrities will be "hot" and who will "not"? Will we still be enduring the reports of misbehavior by those who should know better? Will this year's crop of new babies bring Einsteins, Darwins, and Mozarts? Or will the world be increased by Gosselins, Pitt-Jolies, and Woods? Will we care?
There is no way to know. No fortune teller, seer, prognosticator, or modern "prophet" has ever been able to know the future.
That's why each new year is exciting; the possibilities are endless and it's totally out of the control of any one person! Of course, individuals can influence events, even bring about huge changes, but no one person can control it all and no one can read the tea leaves and really know with certainty what tomorrow will bring.
Every one of us has to wait and watch each day as it comes along. Some will succeed and some will fail. The potential is enormous. There are days when I can't wait to find out what comes next....and there are days it just flat out scares me to death! The only way to find out is to tally the score on January 1, 2011.
So with high hopes and crossed fingers, I'll close with "See you Next Year!"
