"Little Sister"

When I was somewhere around 3 or 4, my mom suffered an ectopic pregnancy.  The doctors told my mom that it would be very unlikely that she would ever get pregnant after that.  I don't know what Mom's reaction to that was, though my Mom was a very accepting person.  I'm pretty sure that she just accepted that and went on.  She never talked about wanting more children, I think she was perfectly fine with having only one child, after all she came from a family of 11 children!  Being able to pour all her love and attention on just one child might have been wonderful to her.

I wouldn't say that I was spoiled, exactly.  We didn't have the money for me to be too spoiled!   Mom was a strong disciplinarian and a very down-to-earth woman.  Nonetheless I never wanted for anything important.  My mom and I were very close and we enjoyed each other's company..  She was a great mom and for most of my childhood I had her all to myself.  My dad was in the restaurant business and he worked afternoons to closing around 10 pm.  So mom and I did things together.

I do remember mentioning several times that I wanted a little brother or sister, but Mom always made it pretty clear that there wouldn't be either one.  That was disappointing to me.  Like most only children I wanted somebody to play with, and a built-in playmate/friend/sibling would have been just the thing, but somewhere along the way I gave up the idea and stopped asking for a baby sister or brother.

Then came 1958.  I turned 12 in 1958. I was almost a teenager!  I got a bit taller that year.  My hair was cut fairly short and it was up to me to keep it nice.  I had a poodle skirt and crinolines and I could finally wear shoes without socks!  I had my first real crush.  I was going into 7th grade and 1958 was the year rock 'n roll burst into my life (and everyone else's too!)  Bill Haley and the Comets', "Rock Around the Clock" was a huge hit and I remember being at my first "dance" and dancing to that song about 15 times.  It was a great song, it had a great beat and you could dance to it! I gave it a high mark!

I was almost a grown up!  I was thinking about boys, and fashion, and music, and boys, and girlfriends, and boys and did I mention....boys??!!

And then Mom had news!

A baby was coming!!!  Really, after all those years!  Our very own  baby!  A little brother or a "Little Sister"  I was thrilled.  I guess part of me had never given up hoping!  Wow!  I was still young enough to get excited and not be embarrassed that my mother was......GASP!.....PREGNANT!   My Dad was thrilled, my Mom was thrilled, our friends were thrilled.  My grandparents were thrilled.  My mom's sisters and brothers were thrilled.  But I was the most excited of all!  It was wonderful news.  I could hardly wait!

Mom had no big problems with the pregnancy (at least none that I knew about.)  She was active and energetic and as long as she got a little nap in the afternoon, she was in a great mood.  We talked about possible names for the baby.  Mom and I decided on a boy's name and a girl's name.  (I'm sure Dad had an opinion too, but I didn't see him very much because of his work hours).

Nobody expressed a preference for a boy or girl, we just wanted healthy!  Still deep in my heart of hearts, I wanted a sister....a sweet, cute, "Little Sister" who would be my best friend forever!    I didn't think August was ever going to come!

More to come....

"Long, Tall Sally"

There aren't any really tall people in my Mom's family.  My Gramps was shorter than my Gram. My mom was about 5'2".  She had two brothers that were around 5'11", but her other siblings were all fairly short.  I don't remember exactly how tall they were, but all of her sisters were somewhere around 5' 1' or 2" and the other uncles probably 5'6" or so.  On Dad's side, he was about 5'8" (even tho his dad and his uncle were over 6'.)

I hit my top height as a freshman in H.S. topping out at 5'' 2 1/2."  I wasn't exactly a "Long, Tall Sally", but I was taller than my mom and my sister too.  I couldn't swear to it, but I think my niece is about my height.  When Rachlet was growing up I used to tease her that if she ever got taller than I, she would have to move out.  She never did think that wa s very funny, nevertheless, she topped  out at only 5'2";....a full 1/2" shorter than me....so her place in our house was secure until she was ready to move out on her own!   lol!   I remained the tallest woman in our immediate family.  Perhaps that is why I never felt particularly short!  Because I had family that WERE short and I was taller.

Rachlet's hubby, T.A. is 5"11".  His dad was about the same.  His mother and his sister are both around 5'5" or so.  His aunts and uncles are all over the map, but none very, very tall or very, very short.  Just average.

You may remember that when our Maddie-the-Great came along she was a tiny preemie....only 1 lb. 14 oz. and 13" long at birth!   She stayed in the lower percentiles for weight and height for several years.  Nothing all that unusual, she was just on the low side of normal.  I never really gave it much thought, but I guess I assumed she would be on the short side....like the rest of the women in my family.  I remember when she was first born, I was talking with an acquaintance (no one I knew well), and this woman told me her son had been a tiny preemie too but now, as an adult, he was over 6' ft.  That just confirmed for me that being a preemie only affects children when they are young and there was no correlation to being a small adult.  It didn't occur to me, that M-t-G could be tall!

Well somewhere about 3 or 4 years ago M-t-G began to have growth spurts that would add several inches to her height over the course of a year.  Her place in the percentile rankings began to inch up (pun intended!)
That was reassuring.

It's also a little disconcerting!  It seemed like she had grown every time I saw her!  Well, it finally happened!  When we saw her last weekend, she had grown again and when we stood back-to-back, it was clear that she was as tall as I was!!  There is very little chance that she will stop growing right now and never get any taller.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she nudged past me during the last week and when I next see her she will be ......(sob)....taller than her Grammy!  (Which means she would be taller than her mom too.)   She's still only 11 (6th grade) and won't even be 12 until April.... and she is as tall as a grown-up!  (Okay, a short   grown-up, but a grown-up just the same!!)

I wasn't finished with growing until I was 14.  If she does the same that means she still has two whole YEARS of growing left to do!  She could end up not only taller than her mom and I, but taller than her other Grandma and her aunt!

Either way it's pretty much the end of my reign as the tallest woman in my family!  Of course, it's ridiculous to talk about being the tallest anything at only 5' 2 1/2"....that isn't tall by anybody else's definition.   A fact that I am reminded of every times someone stands next to me and says, "Boy, are you short!"   Still, it was my one claim to fame in our little family, I was the tallest woman.

So our M-t-G could be a "Long, Tall, Sally" before long, depending on how tall she actually gets before stopping, after all kids are bigger these days.  But it's okay for her to be tall, tall women have a stronger presence, they are harder to overlook, and tall people have more self-confidence....all good things!

When I look at the photos of M-t-G when she was tiny, I am so grateful that with all she had to go through, that she is so healthy today.  Our double-miracle grandchild continues to beat the odds in nearly every aspect of her life.  I do have to giggle just a little though, we were all so worried when she was born and it took her 9 weeks in the NICU to grow to reach 5 lbs, so she could go home.  It seemed like forever back then!  I guess we needn't have worried quite so much,  growing seems to be one of her very best things!

"In My Merry Oldsmobile"

Something I saw on another blog several months ago brought back a memory.  Actually it's kind of a second hand memory because it is a memory from my mother's childhood that she told to me during MY childhood....all of that adds up to a story that happened a looong time ago!!. 

I never met any of my Great Grandfathers, but my mom vividly remembered her father's father.  Evidently there was absolutely no doubt who was in charge of that family.  My great grandfather ruled with an iron fist.  Both he and my great grandmother were from Germany and as many Germans of that time, he was a hard-line disciplinarian and unchallenged head of the house.  I believe it is fair to say that he intimidated his wife and all of his children (of which there were six or seven, I believe.) rather consistently.  What Father says, goes!  No questions.  I don't really know much about him however.  I have no idea how he supported the family.  I don't know his profession.  I don't believe he was wealthy, but I do think they were "comfortable."   I have never seen a photograph of my great grandfather, but I have always thought of him as a rather large man, dressed to the nines,  who bellowed!

Even after my grandfather married and had 11 children of his own, his father remained the head of the family....his WHOLE  family up until the day he died.  A case in point....

At some point in the 1930s (after the start of the Depression) my great-grandfather bought a great, big, shiny, black car that  would hold quite a lot of people.  I don't remember what make mom said  it was, but in my mind it has always been an Oldsmobile, probably because of the song "In My Merry Oldsmobile."   The car may well have been an Oldsmobile, but after hearing mom tell the story, I'm not at all sure it ever could have been considered "Merry"!!

You see, my great grandfather couldn't, or wouldn't (I don't remember which) drive, so he let my grandfather have use of the car.  The hitch was that Great-Grandfather wouldn't let Gramps drive the car alone!  He insisted on going along where ever and when ever they were going somewhere!   Mom told me he would sit in the back seat, like an enthroned king, and proceed to drive my grandfather crazy with his backseat driving!!   Mom said that when they got home from one of their rides, Gramps would be in a bad mood for the rest of the day.  I can understand why.  I'm sure he resented being told how and where to drive by his father!  Still, I guess it was a small price to pay for the use of an auto when you have none of your own!

Going for a ride was a highlight for all the kids.  The 11 kids in mom's family would have to take turns going with and they used to argue fiercely about whose turn it was to go for a ride in their Grandfather's big shiny car.  The kids had a great time.  Even though their grandfather was a tyrant, I guess they all thought it was worth putting up with, just to go for a ride.  I probably would have thought so too!

I don't think this is the same car, but since this was taken around 1949, I guess it could have been.  But one thing I do know for sure, my Gramps had a much better time driving without his father in the back seat!  He could finally go wherever he wanted "In My His Merry Oldsmobile!"

"Get Me to the Church On Time"

My mother used to say that it took me 24 hours to get born, and I've been late ever since!  It  appears I do not have the same understanding of time as everyone else.  The sad truth is that I am late more often than not....all my life!  We were late to my best friend's wedding.  We were late to my daughter's wedding (but they couldn't start without us....we had the bride!!)  I was late for work about 75% of the time for my entire career!!!  It drives a lot of friends, bosses, and family absolutely crazy!

But I am NOT always late.  In fact, on the one day when one might be expected to be delayed by over-the-top primping and such, I was on time.  In fact, we were even a little bit early (not a lot, you understand, but a little.) 

Just like Alfie Doolittle ("My Fair Lady"), "Get Me to the Church on Time" was my mantra that day!  What day??  Well, my wedding day, of course!

Forty-six years ago today.  46!  Years.  Ago.   Holy shoes and rice, Batman!!  46 years!

It was a very bright and sunny day in Chicago on April 2, 1966 but it was really cold!  It looked like Spring but it still felt like Winter.  We had to drive from the north side down to the south side, because we were being married in Mikey's home parish (I can't remember why exactly), so we had at least a 45 minute drive to get to the church. 

I don't remember whose car we were in.  I don't remember who drove.  I don't remember who was in the car.  I have a vague recollection of sitting alone in the back seat, but I don't think I was really.....maybe it just felt like I was alone.  Its a big thing to get married (duh!), but when you are only 19, its monumental. 

What was ahead?  Was this really a good idea?  Would it work out?  Would we be happy?  Would it last??   Did I really want to be a wife??  Maybe I should just jump out of the car and run away!  Very far away!!  These kinds of thoughts jumbled around inside my head throughout that long drive.  I suppose that is not much different from any other bride (or groom for that matter.) 

There I was, little 19 year old me, only weighing about 100 lbs. soaking wet, wearing a borrowed dress, a borrowed veil, wrapped up in a borrowed mink stole (it wasn't as politically incorrect, all those years ago).  It felt a little bit like playing dress up. 

But it wasn't make believe, it was very real.  And it turned out to be the right thing to do, because here we are 46 years later and we are still together.  It was was a good idea.  And it sure has lasted!  We have had a life filled with much happiness, a lot of laughter, a reasonable number of tears, love, caring, a fair amount of worry and sadness, lots of joy, some disappointments.....highs and lows....day after day....for 46 years. 


I think they call that a marriage!


Happy Anniversary, Big Guy!

"Long Time Gone"

Today, March 5, 2012 would have been my father's 93rd birthday. But we lost him in 1978 when he was only 59 years old.  This year will be our 34th year without him, that is more than half my life!  Oh wow!  I've lived more of my life without my dad than with him.

James Harvey Johnsen
1919 - 1978
R.I.P.

He survived a childhood of divorced parents (a rarity at that time) and during the Depression.
He survived WWII, even after 4 long years in the South Pacific.
He met and married my mother and they were together for nearly 34 years.
He fathered two daughters who loved him (flaws and all).
He saw one daughter married, and one daughter off to college.
He knew and loved his first son-in-law (and was loved in return!)
He was able to enjoy his first grandchild until she was 11 years old.
He was gone much too soon and he has been a "Long Time Gone."

He missed so much!
He would have been so proud of Little Sis graduating from college and having a "real" profession.
He would have been proud to know that her daughter will soon have a "real" profession too!
He would have loved knowing he had two more grandchildren, especially a grandson!
He would be so proud of the person Ratchlet  has become, as well as her very successful career.
He would have loved knowing Maddie-the-Great, his great granddaughter, he would be so proud.
He would have loved hearing me and the trio sing the old songs in 3 part harmony!
He would have loved seeing the Big Guy on stage in the fabulous roles he's had.
He would have loved seeing me acting and directing for the stage.
He would have loved all the dogs (and probably the cats too) that have come into and out of our family over the years.

He would have been saddened at our losses.
He would have been supportive in our hard times.
He would have worried with us, cried with us, laughed with us, celebrated with us, and smiled his wonderful smile.
He would have been around much, much longer if it had been up to him.
He would have loved sharing his 93rd birthday with his family.

And so would we.

You've been a long time gone. We all miss you every day, Daddy! 
Your eldest daughter and all your loving family

"We Are Family"

After spending most of the evening learning how to use our scanner correctly, I finally figured it out!!  And I am proud to share with you some of our family photos.  There isn't anything special about these photos or these people, except that "We Are Family".  I love them and I miss all who are gone.  But now, thanks to my lovely Little Sis,  I have lots of photos of  treasured faces and the wonderful memories they bring.  Here are just a few shots of random people at random times and random places.  I am happy to share them with you. 

(*They will enlarge if you click.)

My mom (mid-blink) and I in Phoenix in the late 1990s.

Little Sis and I around 1961.
She's a lot bigger now, but she's still just as cute!

My mom and dad, 1957

My dad always smiled for photos,
except this one!!  1957
(I wasn't much help either!)

Dad, Mom and I, 1953

My cousin Sherry and my Gram, 1952
(I'm not exactly sure who was teaching who!)

Me and my Gramps, 1950
(He never smiled in photos....except this one!) 

"Goomby" and Me, age 2, 1948

 

My Gram, two of my aunts, and me.
1947

One of my aunts' wedding, 1945
(from L to R:  my great-grandmother,
my grandfather -- see? No smile --
the happy couple, and my grandmother -- who always smiled!)

This lovely pin-up is my Mom, 1945
(There is writing on the back indicating that she sent the photo
to my dad overseas....and he brought it home all safe and sound!)

My mom, Lorraine C. Lisk, 1930
First Holy Communion

My grandfather, Norbert M. Lisk, Sr., 1921
(I think this is the oldest photo in the bunch.)

Yes, we are family and I love "seeing" them all again!!  I miss them every day!

"Little Kid Sister of Mine"

After five wonderful days of visiting, shows, memories, hugs, and lots of laughing, we dropped off that "Little Kid Sister of Mine" at the airport about four hours ago.  Her visit was just the best!  The only thing that could have made it better is if we had been able to convince her to stay longer or even better, to move here to Austin.  Despite my very best efforts, she had to return to Phoenix.  But I'll keep working on her!

We crammed a lot into those five days she was here.  Wednesday evening we talked and caught up on all sorts of things that tend to be overlooked when you only communicate by phone, email, or Facebook.  Thursday was Maddie-the-Great's class play and D, the Great Aunt, was able to see it!  That made M-t-G very excited!  My pick-up rehearsal was cancelled for that night, so I was able to go too! 

It was a darling show with the entire fifth grade participating.  They recreated the songs and characters from "School House Rock",  a TV kid's program most of their parents grew up with.   And, yes, they included "Conjunction Junction"!  It was a very cute program and the kids were great.  M-t-G sang in the chorus and her Mom and Dad and Grammy and Great Aunt D were pleased as punch to be there!

We went out for dinner afterward and talked and laughed some more!

Friday Little Sis and I did a little bit of thrift shopping and then after dinner she came to see my show and she enjoyed it.  We hung around with the cast for a bit after the show and I think she got a feel for what I mean when I chatter on about theater folks! 

Saturday afternoon, Mikey cooked for us and we had a real family dinner, just like old times.  Afterward, Ratchlet, T.A., and Little Sis came to see the show (seeing it twice is definite proof she loves me! lol!) while M-t-G stayed here and played Nerf wars (or something!) with her Poppa. 

Today, we all got together for lunch and our last chance for chatting and catching up.  Then off to the airport we went!  Little Sis should be arriving home before too long.  We had a wonderful visit and I am so very glad that she was able to stay for five whole days!

I'm sure Little Sis will be glad to get back to her own home and her own bed.  But, if I could, I'd get her back here permanently.  I think my best tactic would be to work on my niece and nephew to convince one or both of them to move to Austin, then getting my sister here would be a slam dunk!!

Now I must admit, just reading over the above, the visit doesn't sound all that interesting or challenging, but, au contraire, my friends, au contraire!  I mentioned awhile back that Little Sis fell and broke her wrist.  Well, the break was much worse than I realized.  Her hand was pretty much disconnected from her arm!   She has three pins sticking out of her arm inside the cast.   She brought her x-ray to show us.  Major EEK!! 

Even after nine days, she is still in a lot of pain and had to ice her arm a couple of times a day.  She was taking Ibuprofen to ease the pain and bring down the swelling.  And several times a days I would see her face go kind of pale, she'd go still, her eyes closed, and I'd hear a quick intake of breath, and I knew that somehow she had hit it, or move it, or someone had bumped into it.  You could just see how much it hurt!!  It was painful to see!  And there wasn't anything we could do but wait for it to go away!  Poor thing!

Even though she is right handed and she broke the left wrist, there are lots of things she cannot do!  I helped her with her socks and sneakers every day.  I washed her hair for her.  Someone had to open sugar packets for her and on and on.  She had gotten to the point that she could dress herself as long as she wore something that buttoned down the front!  I don't know how she is managing by herself!

One of the reasons we couldn't talk her into staying longer (because she will be off work for 4-6 weeks!!), is that those pins I mentioned have to be "tapped in" by the doctor on Tuesday.  "Tapped in???"  Seriously??   OOOOWWWWWWIIIIIEEEE!  OW, OW, OW!  That makes my tummy go all wonky just to think about.  Icky, icky, pooh!

So this whole trip was a real challenge for her.  But that just makes me all the more grateful that she came anyway!  You are a champ, kiddo!  I was so glad that you came and I'm sooo sorry that your arm pained you so much in the process.  All her life Little Sis has been a joy in my life!  "That Little Kid Sister of Mine" is a great sister and I'm immensely glad that she's mine!

So, thanks Little Sis!  Having you here was a real treat.  It was great to see you.  I hope your arm gets better very, very soon.   And I know that this puts the ball directly in my court and that tables have turned!  (In other words, it's my turn to visit her!)  I'll try to manage a visit someday before too long, but I'll try to be sure that it is with two "whole" arms!

Love you bunches, Little Sis!



P.S.

So, would you like to hear about the enormous bonus gift that came along with Little Sis's visit??  Well, come back tomorrow and I'll tell you!

"Tradition"

If you have read my blog for any period of time, it will come as no surprise to you that our family is big on "Tradition."  Usually, the traditions we have relate to holidays, like always making leek for holiday dinners, or singing Christmas Carols while we clean up after Thanksgiving dinner, or going en masse to see fireworks on the 4th of July.  Nothing particularly unusual or interesting....just habits we have developed over the years.  Some of them are more important to us than others, but if we repeat something for more than two years in a row....bang!  We've got a new tradition!

I have recently realized that we seem to have another tradition, that isn't so great.  In truth, it probably can't be classified as a tradition exactly.  It's more of a curse!  A mild one, but a curse nonetheless.

The women in my family seem prone to falling....and in the process of falling, manage to break something....usually a wrist!   For example:

*  I fell at age 11 and sprained my right ankle so badly the doctor said it would have been better if I had broken it.
*  Ratchlet fell off a horse when she was 11 and broke her right wrist. 
*  Maddie-the-Great fell during a soccer game at school when she was 8 and broke her left wrist.
*  I fell while roller skating at about age 25 and broke my right wrist.
*  I fell at a dance rehearsal at about age 42 and broke my right wrist AND my left elbow.
*  Little Sis fell at home while getting dress last week (her age is lots younger than mine) and broke her left wrist. 

M-t-G and her broken wrist
just in time for her First Communion!

Other than my additional elbow and ankle injuries, all the casualties of our falls have been the wrist!  Weak wrists must run in our family!  Or maybe we all fall in exactly the same way, i.e., putting out a hand (or 2) to catch ourselves.  Ergo, most of the weight is then borne by the wrist and voila, compression fracture!  In a cast for 4-6 weeks!  Major inconvenience! 

For those of us who are right handed and broke the right wrist (that would be Ratchlet and I), it is amazing all the things you cannot do with your right wrist out of commission.  Things like writing, holding a pen, picking up a telephone (the old style receiver), combing, washing, or styling your hair, putting on socks or hose, cutting your food, carrying anything heavy, driving stick shift, or typing with any speed whatsoever.  We got very inventive in finding new ways to do things!  Those breaking left wrists have a somewhat easier time of it.  For them, their "main" hand still works!

Luckily, our breaks were mainly simple or greenstick fractures not even requiring much in the way of manipulation to get the bone re-aligned before the cast was put on.  Little Sis was not so lucky.  She had to have it repaired surgically.  So she not only has a bone that must knit back together, she also has an incision that has to heal.  Major ouchie!!  Heal up quick, LS!

So as you can see, the females in our family have a tradition, or a curse, or just stupid bad luck that results in a similar experience we all go through.  It ain't fun and it's a pain we all could have done without.   

So far Little Sis's daughter has remained on her feet and has all of her bones intact!  I'm pulling for her to stay that way!  This is one tradition we really don't want to extend to any more of us!! 

"Bits and Pieces" (for January 10)

Just a few bits of this and some pieces of that in my world on January 12....

1.  I have finally finished the Defensive Driving online course!!  At last!  Now I will admit I did procrastinate on getting it done.  Sometimes having a deadline that's  too far away just seems to encourage sloth.  Time is such a funny thing.  It never lasts as long as you (well, I) think.  One day can last an eternity and three months can disappear in a blink!  I didn't exactly wait until the last minute.  I have been working on it in sections since weeks.  I just didn't build in any extra time for problems.  What a dunce!  There are always problems when a computer is involved!  I know that or at least, I should. 

So I was working on the last section and it took me three times to get through it because my computer kept conking out!  And then once I finally got it finished, the silly think wouldn't print what it was supposed to print.  When I called the company to find out how else I could handle it, they have NO back-up system in place to be able to get the documentation to you if you cannot print it!!  What??  Really??  Their advice?  Go to another computer and try it there.  Well, I don't know about you, but I don't happen to have an extra computer laying around waiting for emergencies.  I would have to go to the library and deal with an unfamiliar system in public use.  I would have bet money that once I got there all the computers would be in use or broken.  Ok, let's come up with Plan C.  Call daughter, talk her through process and see if the documentation would print for her!  And, it did!!  Now all I have to do is pick it up.  Then wait for the Completion Certificate to be overnighted, take it to the Court, wait in line, hope that everything is there and finally, get my record clear!  I have to have it done by the 25th.  Piece of cake, right?  We'll see!


2.  It is hard for me to believe it, but the show I've been rehearsing since before Thanksgiving will open a week from Friday!  Having the holidays come in the middle of the rehearsal period really make the time fly by!   Sunday we start Tech Week (or as some call it, Hell Week.....because it can be!)  On Monday evening we start will full costume runs.  Now that doesn't matter much to anyone but me!  The entire rest of the cast has one costume.  Their part of the show takes place all in one day with several different scenes, but still just one day.  I, on the other hand, am in three scenes and I have three different costumes.  At least none of them are quick changes as I open the first act, open the second act, and finish up in the final scene!  I'll have lots of dead time back stage while everyone else is onstage.  Strange construction. 

I actually think it just might be a really funny show.  Of course, predicting what makes an audience laugh is like  telling fortunes....sometimes you get it right and sometimes you don't.  It is also true that no two audiences react the same or  laugh at the same things.  It's live theater, that's part of the territory!   Tickets are available!  (If any of you from this area are interested in coming to see it, let me know and I'll shoot you a flyer with the info.)

You may not hear anything from me next week, because we could end up having late nights and we go right into performances Friday and Saturday.  Just so you know....


3. I got some great news!!  Because the show will be running for four weekends, Little Sis was able to arrange her work schedule so that she can come and see it!!  Yahoo!  She hasn't seen me on stage for twenty years or more and she has never seen me in a non-musical!  Living so far apart for so long, she wasn't able to see any of my favorite roles, which is too bad.  This one won't be at the level of some of the others  (it's just a piece of fluff), still I am so excited that she is coming!!  Whee!


4.  Christmas is slooooowly disappearing, verrry slowly!  From the outside it looks like Christmas has left the building, but inside is a whole other story.  I've been dealing with a little bit (a very little bit)  each day,  When you have as much stuff and Mikey and I do, it takes a long time.  We store most of it in storage bins (around 15"x17"x12") and they are all lined up on shelves along the side of the garage. The large things (mostly outdoor stuff) goes up to the attic.   Because I keep acquiring more stuff, we keep having to add bins too!  We will probably reach full capacity this year once it all gets put away.  Of course, I've said that before.  We just keep reconfiguring things to maximize the functionality.  I suppose I really should make it clear to Ratchlet that she may not get much of a monetary inheritance from old mom and dad, but boy, will she have Christmas stuff! 


5.   Someone asked me yesterday, how my winter has been this year.  It made me remember that just like every year, the fact is that there is still 3 more months of winter AFTER Christmas.   I have always thought that was just so unfair!  Christmas and winter can be pretty (from the inside) and some folks even are disappointed if there is no snow, but once January hits, I am ready for Spring!  Right away!  Enough with the cold, enough with the grey, enough of the rain (or possibly snow or ice).  Enough of sweaters, and socks, and scarves. I do not want to wait until March for Spring!!  I want to see the little daffodils and irises poking up through the soil.  I want those cute little buds that suddenly pop out on the trees.  I'm ready for my Spring coats and brighter colors.  Let's skip right to Easter!  Anybody with me?


6.  You may have notice, that not only is my house still full of Christmas, so is my blog!  I just haven't had time to play around with the background and stuff to move it into January.  One of these days,,,,maybe I'll go right to February!  

I keep telling myself, be careful what you setup in life, it will become a requirement and you'll need to do it all the time.  Do I listen to myself?  (That, my friends, is what they call a rhetorical question.)


7.  I have noticed over time, that the first few days of a New Year can really set the tone for what the rest of the year will be like.  On New Year's Day, our dryer went kaput!  It took nearly a week to get the necessary part (the whole circuit board!!) to fix it.  But fixed it is.  I started the try to catch up on the mountain of laundry tonight, found I had no fabric softener stuff....aaand, the ceiling light blew out.  Can't  reach it myself and can't do laundry in the dark, ya know?!! 

2012 could have gotten off to a better start....but then, it could have been a WHOLE LOT worse! 

"The Best Gift"

It's not that we have an official competition or anything. We don't really. On the whole, we're not that competitive. Still we all (that would be the Big Guy, Ratchlet, and me, the official Christmas shoppers), try very hard to find gifts that are suited to each other....books by favorite authors, the newest CD from a favorite artist, a canister set that would be just perfect for a newly-remodeled kitchen (but wasn't), the toy a child just can't live without....I'm sure everyone does that kind of thing to some extent.

We go a step or two further than some.  If we should happen to stumble upon something we had never even thought about, that would be absolutely and completely right for someone in our family, well, that is a definite mitzvah, a blessing!  (Hey, I'm playing a Jewish mother in my upcoming show....it wears off, you know?)  If we find that something we know in our hearts, will touch the recipient with some emotional connection, well, we know it will be "The Best Gift".  I wrote about this breifly in a previous post, (from a Christmas-Past.)  The ultimate, most successful and wonderful-est gift is the one that brings the tears.

Please don't think we are weird! It isn't that we want to make each other cry! It's just that we each hope that one special gift (always the last one to be opened) will be truly perfect! We do this with all the love in our hearts for each other. It doesn't happen every year for every one of us. In fact, some years no one gets a "best gift". And that's okay. It is a matter of happenstance or serendipity or divine inspiration or possibly just good luck to come across the best gift. It is rarely the most expensive thing received. The monetary value has nothing to do with it. It doesn't come from the most exclusive store. In fact, sometimes it has been purchased in a thrift, resale, or consignment store, it might have been found in some random catalog, or a small specialty store, or a big department store.  It may be not much more than a small memento of some event or experience or interest.   There’s no planning it.  It’s one of those “know it when you see it” kind of things.  It might be new or it might not. It might mean absolutely nothing to anyone one else in the world, but for the right person....ahhhh, it brings a lump in the throat and tears to the eyes and great joy knowing that someone in your family knows you so well, that they managed to find a best gift just for you.

Over the years, we have hit it many times with Ratchlet, we did it frequently with my mom, occasionally with my sister, even few times with my dad. I am an easy mark....I cry more often than anyone. If you've never had a similar experience, this may not mean much to you. But in our family getting a "best gift" is the ultimate in happiness and love. I know that M-t-G is still too young for us to identify a "best gift" for her, her tastes are still forming, she is not overly sentimental, she is enamored of everything she gets….to her they are all “best”.  TA is another story.  Gifts are not important to him.  His family functioned differently and sometimes he just doesn’t quite get the whole gift thing at all.  His enjoyment comes from the togetherness and family.

My mom was a magician at Christmas.  She was able to give us all a wonderful Christmas every year, no matter how low the coffers might have been.  She started this “tradition” many, many years ago.  She was the most loving and giving woman, and at Christmas, Mom was at her very best.  She always went overboard as far as numbers of gifts and she, too, would hit with the “best gift” for one of us nearly every year.  So this has been a part of Christmas for my whole life.  Mikey and I have always tried for the same loving and happy Christmas that Mom gave us.  We love our family’s Christmas and all it’s traditions. 

And this year, there was a “best gift”.  It was perhaps, the best “best gift” ever!  And it was for someone who frequently was able to give “best gifts”, but had never experienced one himself.  Yes, the  recipient of the best gift this year was my Mikey!  Despite years of thinking that maybe this year will be the one.  This will be the time, I manage to find the perfect gift for him, the “best gift”.  There have been many times that he has really liked one gift or another, but the ultimate indication of the “best gift” never occurred.  No tears.  No “crying for happy.”  No special feeling of sentiment and emotion all tied up in love and joy.   And year after year, I felt let down when my hopes were dashed again.  I just never hit it quite right.  I wanted to find the perfect thing that would let Mikey feel the same happiness that the rest of us had felt knowing that we were loved so much and known so well!  It didn’t happen.  It was frustrating, but I kept trying.



I am almost reluctant to tell you what it was.  It wasn’t incredibly expensive, it wasn’t all that exotic or rare, it wasn’t something that everyone would want, or even something that would be special for most people.  But it was special for my Mikey. Mikey's heritage is Irish, his grandparents came here from County Mayo.  His Dad had spent some time in Ireland as a young man.  That heritage is imporant to Mikey.  The last present he opened this year was a genuine,  Irish Shillelagh, made by hand from blackthorn wood harvested from remote areas of County Wicklow, Cork, or Kerry in Ireland  along with a certificate of authenticity.  It was beautiful in a gnarly sort of way, highly polished, and just the right height for a walking stick.   He absolutely loved it. 



This isn't it, but it is very similar!

 It was a great moment!  After forty plus years, Mikey finally got his “best gift”!!  And he cried for happy! 


Merry Christmas, Bunky!

"Thanks For The Memory"

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving!  It was so good to have our family together for a lovely, happy, well-stuffed (and not just the bird!), holiday meal.  We didn't exactly have a crowd, there were just the five of us (Mikey, Ratchlet, T.A., M-t-G, and me) for dinner and later we were joined by T.A.'s mom and her beau. Oh, plus Dora (the dog).  That's all the family we have close by.  Little Sis and her kids gathered (I gather) in Mesa for their own Thanksgiving traditions.  I have a multitude of cousins and the Big Guy has six siblings and their multitude of offspring and cousins, but they are all scattered across the country.  It's too bad in some ways, I have  always loved entertaining a crowd.  I would love having more family at our family celebrations, especially my sister, but it seems unlikely that there will ever be a large gathering of family as we used to have. Try as I might, I haven't been able to convince anyone to come and join us here in Austin.  Still, my favorite part of the family was here!

The Big Guy is our official chef and he put together our delicious traditional dinner (with last minute help from Ratchlet and T.A.)  My job is decorating, planning, arbitration (mostly unneeded this year!), troubleshooting, presentation and ultimate decision-maker.  All that means is that mostly I have very little to do with the preparation of the actual meal!  (Hey, in our family we go with our strengths!  It's safer that way!)

Because things always take longer than we plan for, there's a lot going on at the last minute and things get a little chaotic.  At that point there isn't a lot for M-t-G to do, but this year I had a brilliant idea.  I gave her my camera and made her the official event photographer!  I figured she would enjoy having a "job" with real substance and we would get at least a few photos to record the day.  She did a pretty great job!  I told her to just take pictures of the people, the decorations, and whatever else caught her eye.  Here are some of her best efforts

And our P-P-P-Pies! 

Best Pecan Pie Evah!!



Pumpkin - with the cutest little leaves!






Peach
Mikey's first fruit pie effort --  Wonderful!









And a few more photos that didn't turn out quite as well.  She started to play around with the settings.  :)

We were caught nibbling before dinner!



A little canoodling on the side!



Uhhhhhh.....beats me!



There were many more -- some good, some more "artsy", but all in all she did a great job, especially for a 10 year old.

Portrait of our budding photographer



So M-t-G, "Thanks for the Memory"! Great Job! 

And here is one last one of all of us.  We all look a little bit overstuffed, understandably because it was Thanksgiving after all!  Nevertheless, we had a great day!  I hope that your's was the best ever!



[I tried to fix the scary "pet eye" thing that made Dora look possessed. 
But this "repair" is just as scary!  She's a nice little dog, really!
 As long as you don't enlarge it, it's not too bad, but don't make it bigger, okay??
Don't say I didn't warn you!]



"Wedding Day"

My parents were married on September 15, 1945 in Minneapolis, Minn.  They remained married till death (my dad's) in 1978.  So they were together for 33 years. If they were both still living, today would have been the 66th Anniversary of their "Wedding Day."  But neither of them lived that long.

Because Mom's birthday was September 9, when I was a kid I could never remember for sure which was which.  I knew the events were only a week apart, but I was always afraid I'd get it wrong.  The fact that I didn't get it wrong was never due my prodigious memory.  Nope, every year sometime in August, I'd cleverly ask my Dad "When's Mom's birthday again?"  I never had to question the anniversary date once I was sure of Mom's birthday!

My parents were introduced to each other by one of Mom's cousins, Toots.  (We have the oddest names in my mom's family!!)  I think Toots had dated my dad first, but I guess the sparks didn't fly.  They double-dated for Mom and Dad's first date, if I remember correctly.  I don't know the date of their meeting but I would surmise that it was sometime in 1939 or 1940.  They only actually dated once or twice before my dad was shipped overseas to the South Pacific.  Due to one of those Catch-22 Army situations, Dad was in the South Pacific for nearly five years.  (You would be discharged when you accrued enough "points".  Points were earned through amount of time spent overseas (or something like that).  Trouble was, they kept raising the number of points required for discharge.  Anyway, the upshot of it was that Dad was out of the country until after V-J Day in 1945.

During those five years my Mom and Dad corresponded with letters through the mail.  It wasn't like the V-Mail system that was used for the war in Europe (where they were limited to one page that could be put on film and then re-printed upon arrival.)  These were regular letters.  Mom still had a couple and there were words, phrases, and whole paragraphs cut out by the censors!

Despite the censors and the difficulty of mail deliveries to the ever-changing  location of the troops, enough of the letters must have gotten through, because that's how they got to know each other.  Somewhere during those five years, Dad proposed and Mom accepted, but they had to wait
until the War was over.  It was a long time to wait, but they kept on writing and sure enough, as soon as his discharge came through, Dad came back to Chicago (all in one piece and uninjured.)

It was just a couple of weeks after that they eloped to Minneapolis, on the train.  I don't really think it was an elopement in the strictest sense of the word.  There was no secrecy.  At a time when a big wedding seemed like a lot to go through and money was kind of tight, they decided they would have a small wedding trip instead.  At least that's how I remember the story.  Anyway, off to Minneapolis/St. Paul they went and they were married on September 15 by a Justice of the Peace. 

As I recall there is one black and white photo  from the "Wedding Day".  Mom was wearing a dark suit with a light colored blouse and she wore a dark hat that had a bunch of flowers perched on the brim.  Now I haven't seen this photo for probably 25 years or more (Little Sis has all the family photos), but I'm pretty sure Dad wore a medium colored pin-striped suit with a white shirt and patterned, wide  tie.  He had glasses and a thin mustache!  He kept that mustache for a couple of years, but when it disappeared, it never returned!  I was always glad he didn't keep it, I don't think it suited him at all!

Anyway, I don't know how long they stayed in Minneapolis/St. Paul.  I think it was only a day or two and they they came back to Chicago. 

I was born 9 months and 15 minutes later!  LOL!    No really!  June 25, 1946 is my birth date and Mom always said I was a little LATE!  So you do the math!!    (teehee)

Like any marriage, they had their ups and downs.  They didn't really know each other very well when they married.  After all, they had only a couple of dates and five years' worth of censored letters.  Not much to build on.   But they made a life and home together for both my sister and I.  They were separated for a little over a year when I was 17, but they got back together.

Dad's health had started to deteriorate when he was around 50 or so.  He had several strokes and a couple of heart attacks.  Partly due to the worry about his health, the Big Guy and I decided to throw them a surprise anniversary party for their 30th Anniversary.

We invited all the old friends they had known years and years ago including my Godfather (who was Dad's best friend forever) and my Mom's cousin, the aforementioned, Toots (not like "hoots", more like "puts".)  Several of my aunts and uncles were there too, as well as 17 year old Little Sis and 9 year old Ratchlet.  Altogether we had about 30 people.  It was a little tight, but no one cared!

It was a huge success! My folks were genuinely surprised, you might even say flabbergasted!   Mom and especially Dad were thrilled and happy to see all their old friends.  There were tears and happy smiles, hugs, lots of laughter, and lots of catching up.  It was a wonderful night!  You can tell from this photo that it was a happy night! It was probably the best thing I ever did for my Mom and Dad.

Daddy and his girls!

Three years later Dad was gone.  Mom lived on for another 28 years or so.  But that night was the best celebration they ever had and the memory of that night, and their marriage has stayed with me ever since.  Every September 15 I am reminded of my parents and how much I loved them and miss them so!

I was thinking of you, Mom and Dad, on this your "Wedding Day."

"Sounds of Silence"

Even if you don't have any children, you probably noticed new school supplies in the stores for the last couple of months.  Yep, according to most school districts, summer ends sometime between August 15 and September 6,  when it's back to school.  Parents of school age kids trot off to Wal-Mart or Target or wherever, list in hand, to pick up the paper, glue sticks, rulers, protractors (do they still use protractors??  Do you even remember what a protractor looks like???  Or what you do with one??), notebooks, pencils, markers, erasers, and so on for the little darlings.  Oh, and don't forget a new pencil box!

I used to love helping Ratchlet get her supplies together.  It was fun to see all the new colors and designs and gadgets that come out each year.  Picking out a new lunch box (they never last more than one school year!) and new school clothes (even if it's just the school uniform in a larger size!),  all of it was fun, but then I only had one child.  I don't know how multiple-child families do it!  Just the logistics of doubling or tripling (or more) all those things and keeping it all straight so that Susie and her brother don't get their stuff mixed up (oh Heaven forbid!....."Mo-ooom! Make Susie get her cooties off of my new Darth Vader lunch box!!!")....I shudder to think!

Every year kids get older and the supplies get more complicated and more expensive!  No more lunch box, now it's calculators and laptops.  The sneakers they "must" have cost more than all the stuff from previous years put together!  Oh my, the mind reels!

It's a ritual and process that every family with kids goes through for a whole lot of years!!  A huge chunk of their lives is spent in school....from pre-school to kindergarten to grammar, middle, and high schools, then some go on to college (where it gets REALLY expensive....start saving the day you find out you are pregnant!  Trust me on this!).  Let me reiterate, every year costs more than the year before....pre-school crayons are cheap....college textbooks are NOT!
You will learn that EVERYONE applies for financial aid for college.  There is no shame in applying!  I've even heard that some people actually GET money!  Not us you understand, but some people.  Did I mention that it gets REALLY expensive??!

Of course, then if your kids make it through those four years and aren't totally sick of school, they could even choose to pursue a Master's degree and then.... (oh help!).....a Doctorate!!  We won't even mention Dental, Medical, or Law School!!  If your child chooses that route it's time to take out that 2nd mortgage because you will have used up all your money paying for college and grad school!

Now if you have raised your kids right, (meaning they understand that you are NOT Fort Knox), somewhere along the way they will take on at least partial responsibility for their education costs and will get a job AND apply for loans (which they will then pay off for the rest of their lives!).

Once you get to that point the end is in sight.  Usually by the time they are in their mid-to late twenties their school days are over and the financial drain on the Bank of Mom and Dad dwindles to a halt!  They are educated and on their way! They have an actual job, with an actual salary!!  And mom and dad can suddenly afford to buy steaks again!  Oh happy day!

Whether there is one child or six children, eventually the family reaches the point when all their kids are....dare I say it??....grown up. They have moved on.  They have moved out.  When the last one takes that very last box filled with whatever has been hiding in the back of his closet for the last 20 years, the house will echo every sound, the house suddenly loses its color and verve! Mostly what you hear are " The Sounds of Silence" 

You worry, you cry, will he really be able to take care of himself by himself?  He can't even find the clothes hamper most of the time!  Mom will decide to make one last sweep to make sure nothing was forgotten. "Oh,look, he forgot a sock!!  Well, I'll just drive to Denver from Miami to get his favorite sock back to him!! I can check on him and make sure he's all right, but it won't seem like I'm hovering exactly, 'cause he's gonna want that sock...Right???"  Yeah, right.

 After you've gotten past those first few weeks of empty nest, it won't take long before you turn his room into a crafts room, and you're looking at brochures for getaway weekends....or CRUISES! Then at some point he'll come back for an extended visit, and oh my word, you'll wonder how you ever lived with the noise!!

It's a long and winding road, getting those kids educated, raised to be responsible and functional adults. But the pay-off is worth every penny, every headache, every worry. Courage, my dears, you will survive, as will they. 

And looking back, you will be proud!