"A Capella"

Help!  I feel like I have lost my way in Blogland!  It has been weeks since I have posted something fairly regularly.  And I am finding it hard to pick it up again.  There has been a lot going on in my life since before Thanksgiving....Christmas, New Year's, my accident, Mikey's vacation, rehearsals, learning lines, the shows, my sister's visit.  It just seemed like I was always busy doing something else!  Well, its all over now, everything should be back to normal.  Still, I have procrastinated, lured by doing something mindless like computer games!  How ridiculous is that?

Okay, well, I guess the best way to get back to writing is to just start!  Here goes.....



Before I leave my most recent production behind, I want to devote one more post to the marvelous experience that this show provided.

I have had a rocky history in theater recently.  I've written about it a bit, but not in any great depth.  Nor do I intend to do so now.  The bottom line was that I missed being in a show.  All my upset had mainly to do with various personalities (and the people who go with them) that were a problem.  They would have said that I was the problem and for a while I might have believed them.

BUT....I don't think so anymore.

I had the great privilege of working with a truly great cast and crew.  I had only worked with one of them previously, the rest were all new to the theater group since I pulled back a couple of years ago.  Let me tell you about them.

Our Director is a very experienced actor/director with years and years of working in various community theaters all around the country.  She was easy to work with.  She was open to ideas.  She was willing to try different things.  She was supportive.  She was complimentary.  She was capable of giving direction without making a big fuss.  She didn't micro-direct, instead she relied on the actors' instincts when they fit her vision of the show.  She had a sense of humor.  She was knowledgeable and a real pleasure to work with.  There was no tug of war over who was in charge.  She was.  And she deserved to be.

Our Stage Manager was a true gentleman, who knew how to get a point across.  He was on top of things, always where he needed to be, helpful to a fault, supportive, and capable.  He kept us on track without dramatics.  Low-key and laid-back, yet nothing was left undone.  We stayed on schedule and he was responsive to our needs above and beyond what one might normally expect.  He was flexible where he needed to be and not above helping out an actor in a pinch.  He did a professional job, yet he was part of the gang!

Our light and sound guys were a bit removed from us....but that's just the nature of the game.  The sit up in the tech booth performance after performance hitting their cues every time!  Lights came on and went off right on schedule.  Sound effects were never early or late.  I caught no mistakes!  Just as it should be.  And the remarkable thing is they laughed everynight.  After nine performances and lots of rehearsals, they never lost interest is us or the show.  Real troupers!!

As for the actors??  Oh my, what a wonderful cast!  Each perfectly cast, each totally on top of their role, if mistakes were made, they were covered, each one of them very talented and able to bring their characters to life.  They delivered lines with great comedic timing.  They were completely believable in their roles.  And they made the play soar from one laugh line to the next....and there were a lot of laugh lines!  We started as strangers to one another (mostly) and ended as friends! 

We were blessed, too, by wonderful audiences.  Each performance was well attended (70-80 per show for all but one).  There were appreciative and best of all, they laughed when they were supposed to!!  Music to an actor's ears.  Our last audience was the best of them.  They laughed at everything!  They didn't miss once!  Actors respond to a lively audience, they want to do their best and it  turns into a mutual spark!

Of course, we were fortunate to be doing one of the funniest plays I have ever been involved in.  Anna Pie (an accent mark goes in there somewhere, but I can't get my computer to do it), the author, took a somewhat unusual situation and brought out all the humor inherent therein.  She also wrote the funniest line I have ever had in all my years of theater.  Taking it out of context and trying to explain it here would never do it justice and might give you a wrong impression of what kind of play it is.  But let me tell you, it was the longest, loudest laugh in the show....bar none!  

Sometimes in community theatre, there are weak links, someone who is not as talented or who isn't easy to work with, even sometimes one who just never gets it right at all.  But for this show every single person involved was good at what they do.  They were terrific actors/tech staff who made the show work night after night.  And what was the most remarkable of all....no one got mad at anybody else!  There was no angst, no squabbles, no one missing in action, no one who made demands, or was difficult to get along with.  Nobody ended up in tears.  Nobody ended up being an outcast or a diva! To put it simply, they were sane, cooperative, supportive, and good at what they do.  It was lovely to be a part of that cast.  I'd work with any or all of them again in a New York minute!  And unless, I completely misread them, I think they would work with me again too! 

They were theater people of the best kind.  They restored my faith that theater can be done without pain!  And even more, they restored the joy in theatre I have missed so much! 

So Jo, Geoff, Ron, Dale, Mallory, Bradley, Misty, Rina, Tamara, Allen, and Gary, thank you, all!  You are my kind of people!!  And I miss you already!

"Comedy Tonight"

I got home from our final dress rehearsal at about Midnight and our show opens tonight (Friday).  I am glad to say, we are ready.  In fact, at this point we need to have an audience to respond to.  Without an audience there is nothing more we can do to improve it.  The energy that flows between actors and audience is an almost tangible thing and without it, a performance will always suffer from it's lack. We have a great cast.  The director did a fine job.  The Stage Manager is keeping on top of all the gazillion things he has to do.  Costumes are set, props are at the ready, the set is complete....in other words, it's time for curtain up!

I think it is a very funny show.  Actually, we all think it is a funny show.  Nevertheless, past experience has taught me that there are no guarantees in theater.  Something I think is screamingly funny, doesn't get a giggle from one audience, while a different audience will carry on like the show is a mix of the Marx Brothers, the Three Stooges, and Robin Williams.  There is no predicting how people react.  All we can do is present the lines in the best way we know how and hope for the best.

There is some confusion about who actually said this, but a very wise actor from some earlier era was heard to say on his deathbed, "Dying is easy.  Comedy is hard!"  Ain't that the truth!

Here's hoping for a great opening night....after all, its "Comedy Tonight"!!

The Senator and the Reporter

The "Private Eye" and the "Mortician"

The Senator

The Relatives

The Couple

The Crusader

All photos the work and property of http://www.crakephotography.com/

"Another Openin', Another Show"

As of tomorrow I will be officially one week away from "Another Openin', Another Show".  It's been a couple of years since I've done a show and I have missed it desperately.  I am looking forward to being back where I belong. 

I have been acting in theaters for over 30 years.  I've had wonderful experiences, and not so wonderful experiences.  The company of actors, staff people, tech people together are responsible for what happens on stage.  In general, they have a combined commitment to do the best they can, whether it is a Broadway show, a professional touring company, or your local community theater. 

During my 30 years in "show biz", I have encountered all sorts of audiences and sometimes I'm not sure that those audiences really understand what theater is.  So in case, you are contemplating going to see a show anytime soon (which I heartily encourage!!), here are some things you should know.

You may not be aware of this, but live performance means exactly that...it's live with real people up on the stage actually saying the lines, moving around, trying their best to entertain you.  It is not a movie or television.  It is not being broadcast from something that was filmed at another place and time.

Nope, those people you see  (the actors) are truly right there, creating a reality for you to enjoy....and we can see you and hear you!  We can see people coming in 10 or 15 minutes after the show begins.  We can see the guy texting in the third row.  We can hear the couple carrying on a conversation in the middle of the show.  Actors can see if your hubby nods off or looks around and fidgets during the whole show.  We can hear you rummaging around in your purse for something.  We can hear you coughing or sneezing.  We can and often do find all that distracting, annoying, or just rude. 

We are up there after weeks of rehearsals, running scenes over and over to get them as good as we can make them.  We work hard!  We practice dances and songs until our toes bleed or we lose our voices.  We memorize pages and pages of dialogue.   Truth be told, we love it and that is the main reason we do it, but we do it for you too!  An audience can make or break a show.   Without an audience there is no point in doing what we do.  We love having an audience, but we love some audiences better than others.  Here are some things that make a great audience:


*  If you find a scene or a line funny, go ahead and laugh....please! 

*  Tears are okay too!  However, except in the case of a melodrama where you have been instructed otherwise, talking back to the actors is an absolute NO-NO!

*  Please arrive early enough to get to your seat with a minimum of disturbance to other patrons.

*  Most theaters will try very hard to have "Curtain Up" at no more than 5 minutes after the announced curtain time.  Please respect that by arriving well in advance of the start time.

*  Some things beyond your control can make you late for "Curtain up"!  These things happen.  The ushers may bar your way into the theater until such time as your entering will not disturb the integrity of the scene.  This is what they have been instructed to do.  Please cooperate with them.

*  If refreshments are allowed in the theater, please keep the opening and crinkling of candy bags as soft as possible.  If refreshments are not allowed, please don't try to sneak it in.  There is good reason to keep food in the lobby.

*  DO NOT bring phones, pagers, or the like into the theater unless they are muted!  This is important.  A phone ringing in the middle of a dramatic scene from Hamlet is wrong on so many levels! 

* If you become ill, or have a need to leave the theater for any reason, if possible try to leave during intermission.

*  By  all means read and enjoy the program we give you....but do so at intermission. 

*  Please do not bring young children to a show that is not appropriate for them to see!  Many shows are directed toward children, but many are not!  In fact, many are clearly adult in nature and children should not be in attendance at all.  If in doubt contact the theater before you make plans to attend.  The staff will be happy to help you.

*  If you do bring a child to a show, please remove him/her from the house immediately if he begins to cry or misbehave.  

*  At the end of the show (and at the end of scenes) please show your appreciation by your applause.  In many cases this is the only payment actors ever get!

There are a few specific things that relate to community or independent theaters:

* If you really enjoy a show, tell your friends!  Encourage them to see it too!  Word of mouth is the best advertising we can get.  This is particularly true for independent and/or community theaters.

*  If you feel so inclined, make a donation to the theater.  Many theaters are not-for-profit organizations that run on a shoestring.  Your financial help can help keep them going!

*  If you think doing a show looks like fun, that's because it is fun!!  Volunteers are always welcome! There are a lot of ways to help and you don't ever have to go on stage unless you want to! . 

*  Most importantly, don't go to just one show!  Sign up as a subscriber or buy a season ticket, or at the very least come back any time there is a show you'd like to see....and there is always "Another Openin', Another Show",  I guarantee it!

"Back in the Saddle Again"

Ever since 1979-ish, I have had an on again-off again affair with theater.  I have mentioned my love of performance and directing in live, volunteer, community theater.  Unfortunately (for me, anyway), Austin and its environs are chock full of theater venues.  This town has about 20+ different venues and companies performing live theater.  This should be great news for theater lovers, and for audience and professional or semi-pro performers and techies, it is great news.  Starting with the big houses (3000+ seats)  (e.g., Bass Concert Hall (UT), Long Performing Arts Center, the Paramount, Erwin Center, down to small makeshift spaces made to work with imagination and just a little bit of money. 

The reason this is not good news to me (and others like me) is because these venues are restricted to professional, for-profit companies.  The employ ONLY Equity or Equity-eligible (them's the pros, folks)actors.  There are only 3 true  non-professional, volunteer, community theaters that operate on a non-profit basis.  All of which are more than 20 miles from where I live.  Thus opportunities are slim for the non-professional actor or director.  In, fact, only one of the three theaters is a true community theater, in the standard of community theaters across the nation.

About 2-3 years ago, I had a very unpleasant experience with that community theater, the group I had been working with for several years.  I removed myself from the group due to my frustration and disappointment and I have spent the last three years, thinking that my theater "career" was over.  That made me very sad and I missed being able to do what I love.

Well, as we all know, life is waaaay too short!  We have to take advantage of opportunities when they come along because who knows when your last chance is coming along!  So, I auditioned for a role in a play called "At First Sight", a comedy in two acts.  The play is being done by the group I pulled back from not quite 3 years ago.  Aaaand, I was cast!

I will be playing a Senator who is the male lead's mother.  (the guy playing my son is, in reality, old enough to be my.....brother!)  My character is a strong-minded, tenacious, outspoken, and larger-than-life kind of character (Think Bella Abzug.)   It isn't a huge role, butI have three good scenes and that is just fine!  My rehearsal schedule is a lot easier than that of the other principals.  Considering the time of the year coming up, that is very good news.  Rehearsing around Christmas is very stressful.  Luckily we don't open until 1//21/12 and will run for 4 weekends (total of 14 performances).

We had the first read-through tonight (Monday).  Even though we have a lot of work ahead of us, it's a cute play with some pretty funny moments.  I gotta tell you, it felt just great to be "Back in the Saddle Again".  I'm going to try really hard not to get thrown again! 

This may (or may not) have an impact on my blogging.  I won't know for sure until we get further into the play.  But if (and that's a big IF) I seem to disappear for awhile, that's why.  It really shouldn't be a problem, after all I used to do this several times a year, while I was working a full-time job, Ratchlet was still in high school, and I was active with a couple of singing things.  It's amazing how much energy you can find to do what you want to do!!

I'm hoping that is still true when one gets to be my age.  We'll see!  And if you happen to be in Austin, around the end of January, you could come and see the show! 

"Cabaret" (Part II)

Hey, I'm back, finally!!  Well, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by a recalcitrant computer.....more about our Cabaret!

Our parish always held Festival the last two weekends before Lent.  So Ash Wednesdays always reminds of those Festival Days!  Now one small disclaimer, it has been over 20 years since Festival was part of my life, so some of the details may be a little foggy.  It's been a long time.  Onward, nevertheless, back to our story!

Because our audience came from all over the Chicago area, there were usually about 2,000 people a night!  The whole thing was worked out like a science with traffic patterns calculated, and maps and information staff all over.  And the audiences loved coming each year and looked forward to seeing their favorite performers from previous years!

In addition to the "small" room shows which were true "Cabaret" shows, the school had a gymnasium (full-size), and that became designated as the "big" room  (we were a clever lot )  ;)   Several long rows of tables were set up, with tablecloths, candles, and folding chairs.  When there was a big crowd (almost every night), that room would hold about 500 people!  There were several bars and food stations set up and waitresses would serve all through the show. 

Because of its capacity, the big room show would be longer and strove to be more professional with flashy costumes, large scale production numbers and a full orchestra.  Those shows were around an hour long.  They usually did 4 shows a night, sometimes 5 if it was very crowded.  That show usually had little or no storyline, it was more along the lines of a TV variety show (i.e., Carol Burnett, Dean Martin, etc.)  Now of course, we didn't have a big name star and about 95% of the performers were amateurs, but there were a few people that were pursuing a professional career.  We were all volunteers and were not paid.  The only ones who were paid were....you guessed it.... the musicians!  (Musicians ALWAYS get paid.  They're funny that way; no money, no music!)

There was one more element to the make-up of Festival, a very important element!  FOOD!!  The Parish Hall was in the school's lower level and that is were the food was prepared and sold.  There were usually Italian beef sandwiches, brats and sauerkraut,  and one or two other main dishes, beverages, and dessert!  The food was sold for multiple purposes....raising more money, encouraging people to stay longer, and to help offset the occasional problem that goes along with selling alcoholic beverages!  Even after all the shows were finished for the night, the last of the party animals stayed until the Hall was finally shut down around 2 or 3 in the morning!  A lot of that late night crowd was made up of the performers and and others who had spent the night entertaining all the people who came through.  It was sort of the party after the party!

Festival was a major factor in my life, and because of Festival I met and sang with lots and lots of very talented people.  Most precious and important to me were the two women who joined with me to form a trio (which we called a variety of names over the years).  We sang together for over ten years not only at Festival but at other events as well.  Singing with them was one of the best gifts in my life. They are among the treasured few great friends I still have.  They are still in Chicago, but we are getting together in April for a few days.  I can hardly wait!  But I digress....

I was part of Festival for almost 10 years, until the parish pastor was transferred and a new pastor brought in.  For whatever reason, (I never knew fully what they were)  the new pastor didn't like the concept so, he wouldn't allow it to go on.  It was heartbreaking to all of us who had spent so much time and effort and enjoyed it so fully.  I know though, that things run their course and Festival had a good long run of years and brought a lot of parishioners together in a common activity, perhaps it was time for it to go.  The last year for Festival was 1990 or 91 (can't remember for sure).

I have no idea if any of the other churches continue to do so.  It is a huge undertaking and requires an enormous amount of effort to do year after year, but Oh, it was Grand!  Most everybody who came or participated LOVED it.  I miss it to this day! 
Oops, just one more little detail I forgot to mention that you might find interesting, the money raised!  The money rose each year and in the peak year (1988, I think), the Festival Committee was able to write a check to the parish in the amount of..........(are you ready??)

(wait for it....)

(drum roll, please......)

(what do you guess?........)

$93,000+ !!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, that is $93,000 good ole U.S. dollars -- NET not Gross!!  After all expenses had been paid.  And the other years  (after the first 2 years) the net amount was NEVER LESS than $79,000.  That kind of helps explain why it went on for so many years!!  It's pretty hard to turn down that kind of money! 

$93,000....Man, that's a lot of cupcakes and crocheted TP covers, ya know!??!

♪♪...."Start by admitting

From cradle to tomb,

It isn't that long a stay.

Life is a Cabaret, Old Chum,

Only a Cabaret, Old Chum,

And I LOVE a Cab-a-ret!"  ♪



"Cabaret"

As you may (or may not) know, tomorrow (Wednesday) is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent, a time of sacrifice, fasting, and prayer, for many Christian churches, including Roman Catholic churches.  Over the centuries there has been a tradition of a lot of "partying" just before the beginning of Lent, such as Mardis Gras in New Orleans (or Carnivale in Rio).   It's sort of one last fling before the 40 days of abstinence before Easter.

Also as you may (or may not) know, Chicago (my home town) has an enormous Catholic population, because of the large German, Polish, Irish, and Hispanic neighborhoods in the city and its environs.  This has resulted in the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Chicago being comprised of  (and this is an exact figure) a GAZILLION Catholic Churches, most of which have a Catholic Elementary School attached. 

Lastly, as you may (or may not) know, most churches of any denomination have one thing in common....they are in debt up to their altar rails!  The debt usually is comprised mostly of large mortgages and other loans which funded the building of the churches, church halls, parking lots, and in the case of most Catholic and many Episcopal and Lutheran churches, elementary or high schools.  Although most of the congregational donations are as generous as the parishioners can manage, the money gathered NEVER equals the money needed.  Until those mortgages and loans are finally paid off, by and large churches are always in financial difficulties.

Thus, churches are always looking for ways to raise money....bake sales, Christmas Bazaars, raffles, Bingo, school fairs, and such abound in church communities to give the parishioners a break from sermons from the pulpit continually asking for money.  At least with a Christmas Bazaar you go home with a crocheted TP cover to make up for your empty pockets!

Somewhere in the early 70s, someone at a Catholic church in a NW suburb of Chicago, came up with the most brilliant (and successful) fundraising activity ever conceived. 

As witnessed by any Karaoke Night in any town across the US, there are an enormous number of people who are talented to varying degrees and are more than willing and eager to share their talents with others.  Some are actually on their way to a professional career as an entertainer and others are just wannabees, but there are lots and lots of them.

OK, you with me so far?

Well, what that church decided to do was, in essence, hold Cabaret shows in the schools, with some of the talented parishioners and sell tickets to raise funds.  Please understand it was much more than just a little church talent show.  Oh my yes, MUCH more!  And the idea was copied, modified, and spread to several other Catholic Churches, where it grew and grew and grew!

By the time Mikey and I became involved in our Church's effort it had grown to a parish-wide activity involving more than 800 people (singers, dancers, comedians, musicians, cooks, bartenders, lighting and sound technicians, seamstresses, parking attendants, coat check staff, waitresses, ticket sellers, crowd control, clean up crews, raffle sellers, and more.  To say nothing of the administrative types who had the ultimate responsibility for oversight and problem-solving.   Yep, it was huge!  It took months to put it all together and there were about a dozen different churches that did it every year for 10-15 YEARS!

At this point I'm sure you have no real idea of what I'm talking about, so I will try to explain clearly enough so that you can understand the scope of what I am talking about.

Our parish called its event, "Festival".  There was an overall chairman found each year (some even did it twice!!) who would contact individuals and coerce....uhhm....convince them to become the "chairman" for a "room".  There were usually anywhere from 5 to 8 people willing to volunteer to chair a room.   Each of those room chairs would put together a group of people made up of singers, dancers, comedians, and musicians, to create and present an original "show" with a theme, songs, multiple costumes, a small set, some sort of a story line (usually).  The resultant 5-8 shows were each assigned a classroom where their show would be presented.

The school at our parish had several classrooms with removable dividers to make some rooms into double classrooms for various and sundry events  This made it easy to create several double rooms where a stage was built, a section designated for a band, a minuscule "backstage" for the performers to enter and exit, and the rest of the space was for seating and was filled with about 50-75 folding chairs.  In addition there was a "holding room/bar" in the room next door, where audience could sit prior to a show and have a drink and some nibblies while waiting.

There were 2 weekends (4 nights) of performances and the school kids took their Spring Break during the week between the 2 weekends.  Because school was closed for the week and all of the desks had been put into storage, each room was able to leave their stage and set-up in place for the week until the 2nd weekend.   Each room's show was unique and changed every year.  The shows generally ran 30-40 minutes and were repeated several times a night. 

The purchase of a ticket would allow entry to the building and the audience member to see ALL of the shows depending on how late they were willing to stay!  On performance nights the doors opened at 7:30 and the shows ran as many times as they had an audience!  They usually did anywhere from 4 to 6 shows a night depending the size of the crowd.

It was a great idea and it worked!  I'll tell you more about it tomorrow!!

♪♪....What good is sitting alone in your room?

Come, hear the music play.....♪

"All the World's a Stage" Story #6

Tonight's installment is more a collection of incidents showing that actors, and tech people have to be on their toes when doing live theater....because you never know what's going to happen!  Little oddities happen all the time....a prop will go missing, lines will be screwed up or forgotten, late or worse, early entrances will happen, there can be costume malfunctions, wigs that come off, or disturbances and distractions in the audience.  You have to be ready!  A few small vignettes, just to show what I mean:

First:   "The Front Page"

One of the male actors knocked a telephone off a desk.  That sort of thing happens all the time.  It's funny, but when something ends up on the floor, that isn't meant to be there, the audience will spend the rest of the scene watching that item, whatever it is.  It's almost as if it begins to glow or something!  I don't know if they expect it to do something other than just lie there, but watch it they do.  Eventually they begin to whisper and titter. That's why one of the most important rules of stage work is if a prop is dropped or falls, one of the actors on stage must pick it up, as quickly and naturally as possible! 

The actor on stage who knocked the phone over, was one of the most clueless individuals I have ever worked with on stage.  Actually, there were several actors in this show who were just not very experienced and kind of difficult to work with.   There is nothing worse for other actors than trying to cope with the problems created by neophyte "actors" who haven't a clue!!

Going back to the phone on the floor,  it was an old style phone from the 1920's, commonly known as a licorice stick.  So there it was on the floor with the receiver completely off the hook, the cord snaking across the floor, and the brain-dead actor stood there and looked at it for a second, and then turned away and LEFT IT THERE!  A telephone!  If you knocked your home phone, would you not pick it up??  Yet it sat there for the whole rest of the scene, because none of the others on stage were any smarter!   None of the more experienced actors were on stage in the scene, so we couldn't fix it.  Suddenly it was if there was a whole new cast member on stage who was getting all the audience attention.  The dodo bird actor couldn't understand why the director was upset when they came off stage. 

Second:  "My Sister Eileen"

In that show, the character of the younger sister, Eileen, is a bit of a ditz, cute as a button, but just not quite bright.  Just a few hot dogs short of a picnic!  You know what I mean?  Unfortunately the woman who  played the part fit the part to a tee....but she wasn't exactly acting!  She was a ditz too!  Talk about clueless!  Throughout the entire run, she kept messing up her lines, or dropping a cues, moving to where she wasn't supposed to be, or just generally looking lost most of the time. 

As I was playing the older sister,  Ruth, (the smarter, witty, level-headed one, but definitely not  the "pretty one"), I was on stage with my "sister" for practically the whole show, so I was the one that most generally had to deal with whatever the ditz did or didn't do!  

My favorite of her screw-ups took place one night about 10 minutes into the first act.  The two of us were alone on stage having a conversation when for whatever reason, she gave me a line directly from the last part of the third act!  If I had responded with the correct response to that line, the whole show would have been over in about 15 minutes!  I was tempted for about half a second to do that, just to see what she would do!  Of course, I didn't.  I made up some lines to get us back to where we were supposed to be.  The sad thing is I don't think she ever even realized that she was screwing up the lines.  She never acknowledged it, apologized for it, or got any better!!   I'm not sure if that makes it better or worse!

Unfortunately it's not only actors who can cause upsets on stage.  Oh no!  There is a stage manager, people doing lighting, backstage crew, and sound people....we must not forget the sound people!  They, too, can make or break a show!

Third:  "My Sister Eileen"  (Same production, different night)

In the show the sisters have come to NYC to make their fortune.  They end up renting a basement apartment in an old rattletrap building owned by a tightwad, lazy landlord, Mr. Apopolus.  Nothing much in the apartment works right.  The light switches are reversed, there is no water in the shower, the streetlight is right outside the window and one of the panes is broken. Worst of all, a subway is being built right below the building and there are periodic dynamite blastings going on most of the day! Apopolus, of course, ignores all their requests for repairs.

Somewhere in the second act, the telephone rings so Ruth (that would be me) is supposed to cross over from the other side of the stage to answer it, which I did.  I picked up the phone, said hello, and the phone rang again!  The audience laughed a bit; I don't blame them it was funny, There I was talking into a phone that was still ringing!   I am blessed to be able to come up with lines that can save a situation.  It's a gift!  After the laughers had settled down, I shook the phone, looked at it, and said, "Damn that Apopolus!  Not even the telephone works right in this place!"   And we went on.  You can be sure that sound technician paid closer attention from then on!

Oh yes, indeed-dee, anything can happen on stage....and usually does!

"All the World's a Stage" Story #4

I don't believe in ghosts, spirits, vampires, witches, warlocks, and all such ethereal beings; but I do believe in gremlins....theater gremlins!

A gremlin (at least, in my definition) exists only within the confines of any "stage" upon which actors "play".  They are puckish little imps, who pop out of some hidden cave deep in the caverns of "backstage" at some point during the run of every show!   They delight in creating minor havoc at one or more times during  the most inconvenient times....during a performance when said actors are on stage and right in the middle of the highpoint of their performance!  Always!

Oh, and there are two other conditions that usually exist when the little guys  create their "Gotcha" moment.  One or both of these conditions are almost always true.  The gremlins come out in force when:

1)  It is the very last and final performance of the show before it all disappears forever, never to be seen again;  and/or

2)  A video recording (for Archive and teaching  purposes only--ahem) is being made at that performance and will not be done again.   So that the only record of the show will forever more include whatever mischief these imps come up with!

I do want to make it clear, I'm not talking about the disasters that sometimes occur on stage.  No blood, no collapsing walls, furniture, or actors!  No, what I mean is the little something that never, ever happened before, and rattles the actors a bit, throwing off everyone's timing, or just plain embarrassing the cast.

These kinds of things happen for no explainable reason, except the Gremlins are loose again!  To wit:

I was in Noel Coward's "Blithe Spirit", a wonderful show about ghosts.  I was playing the medium, Madame Arcati (one of my favorite roles ever!)  All thru the run, every performance ran like clockwork with all the "ghostie" things happening without a hitch.  Until....(duhn, duhn, duhn) the final performance when the video was being made!  The camera was rolling and the little things began to happen:

* someone was late for an entrance, so we had to ad lib a bit to fill some time.
* a table that usually levitated smoothly, made a rather bumpy ascent and descent.
* one of the "ghost" actors, briefly got her costume caught on the edge of a set piece

(So you see what I mean?  Just enough to unsettle everyone.)

During the middle of her "seance", Madame Arcati screams,  falls to the floor in a dead faint, and the lights go "out" (lights "out" on stage is a relative term)   She remains there, in clear view of the audience, but unseen by the actors while there is a lot of other stuff going on.  I had choreographed my fall so that it looked very natural and believable, but I was actually moving sideways to a sofa, that I fell on and then slid gracefully to the floor.  A very controlled movement that kept me from breaking my neck! 

Went perfectly EVERY performance!  Always in control, looking good! 

Well, not that night, because the gremlins were there.

When the moment arrived, I screamed and started my fall.  For whatever reason, I hit the sofa at the wrong angle and down I went, faster than a speeding bullet, flat on my back, with my head hitting the floor with an audible clunk.  It was not a stage fall, but a real fall.  I was "unconscious" so there was nothing I could do to break the fall, except hope for the best.  I didn't break my neck, or start bleeding, and I wasn't at all injured, so the audience didn't realize anything had happened.  Not too bad, huh?  Nothing to be upset about, right?  So why was I upset??

When I started the fall, the different angle did something that caused my skirt to slide up, and up, and up....till it was practically around my waist.  I could feel it, the audience could see it, the other actors could see it, but there wasn't a thing anyone could do but let me lie there flashing my "dainties" at the world for what seemed like an eternity, until I was "found" by the sweet man playing the doctor. During his examination he pulled the errant skirt back down a bit, so that I was no longer X-rated!  Nevertheless, it is saved forever on videotape!   Oh crap!!

If you look closely I think you can actually see the little gremlins laughing and pointing at me from the back of the sofa!   I'm pretty sure those creepy little thugs pushed me!!!

That wasn't the only time I was their target either!  Come back tomorrow, and I'll tell you about me and Nelson Eddy!!

"All the World's a Stage" Story #3

Everything about the theater stories that I have or will tell you is true.  Each story  come from my  own personal theater experience....except this one.  The person who told it to me, said that it was true but I have never been able to confirm that, so it probably isn't true; which is too bad, 'cause it's a great story!

It is possible that the story may only be funny to people who have actually been in a show on stage in front of an audience.  I don't know, if anyone doesn't "get it", I'm not sure I can tell why its so funny!  Let me know and I'll try to explain the joke.  Anyway, here it is:

Supposedly, the first family of the American stage, the Barrymores --  Lionel, Ethel, and John, were starring in a play on Broadway.  And, as happens with even the best actors, the three of them were on stage, when disaster struck!  All three "went up" on the lines in a scene where they were sitting at a table playing cards.  ["Going up" on your lines, means the actors cannot remember what comes next, a truly terrifying situation for an actor.]

So, Lionel, John, and Ethel, continued to play cards in silence while they each tried desperately to come up with the next line so that they could move on.  I'm sure there was some sort of  sotto voce communication going on between them, but for whatever reason, they couldn't fix it because none of them could remember.

I have had this happen to me on stage, it is the most horrible feeling of helplessness in the world....well, at least in the theatre world!  Your mind just goes blank and the harder you try to remember, the worse it gets! 

Well, these fine actors continued with the card game a bit longer until finally, John stood up at his place at the table and began to stretch as someone might do after sitting too long.  The other two remained at the table, looked at each other in confusion, but continued the game.  John walked to the back of the set where a window was located.  He lifted up the window and poked his head out, looking very much as though he was enjoying some fresh air.

Of course, what the audience could not see was that the Stage Manager was crouched below the window with the script in hand.  He was desperately giving the line to Mr. Barrymore.  At that point John drew back into the room, closed the window, stretched a little bit more, then went back to his place.  He sat down, picked us his cards then said very softly for the ears of his siblings only, "It's not my line."

I just love live theater!

"Oh What a Night"

[Despite have the same title, this post has nothing to do with my previous posting about the Big Guy's ER visit.  It's a much better title for this post!  Sorry if that's confusing!]


Last night I visited heaven.  Or at least one facet of what heaven should be.  In fact, if it were actually what heaven is, I wouldn't be quite so reluctant to get there!

No, I didn't have an out of body experience or anything life threatening.  I'm just fine, thank you.  Nope, the heaven I visited was on the stage at UT-Austin; it was one of their Broadway America (I think) shows.    It was the Broadway touring company of  "Jersey Boys"!!

Some of you may not be familiar with the show, "Jersey Boys", but I'd be willing to bet that if you're over 45 or so, "Oh What a Night" should instantly bring to mind those "Jersey Boys".  If not, how about "Walk Like a Man", "Stay", "Sherry".  "My Eyes Adored You"?  Still no??  "Big Girls Don't Cry"?  That's right, it's Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons!!

Oh. My. God.  Totally and Completely wonderful!!  No wonder it won several Tonys!  It was one of the very best shows I have ever seen, really....and I've seen a LOT of shows.

The four young men playing Frankie Valli, Tommy DiVito, Bob Gaudio, and Nick Massi had the look, had the moves, had the lure of the original Four Seasons.  But most importantly, they had the SOUND!  No one can actually duplicate someone else's voice exactly, but they were so close it was unbelievable.  The show included all of my favorite Four Seasons songs, plus some I'd forgotten were theirs.  The group had a string of Top Ten hits, including many #1 slots on the charts, one after another!  Most of them were in the show.

The show tells the story of how the group came together, found their sound, and got where they were....with all the foibles and problems along the way.  It wasn't an easy ride for those guys every minute.  They encountered some very real obstacles and the show shared those as well as the good stuff.  The show is well-written and moves like a speeding bullet, from great one hit to the next.  I can't tell you what a delight it was.  If you haven't seen it, don't pass up the opportunity if it comes your way. 

The cast of this company was outstanding, whoever did the casting, did a great job.  The actor playing Frankie Valli, Joseph Leo Bwarie, looked a lot like him and sounded a lot like him.  In fact, I thought his voice was a tiny bit better than Valli's.  (Valli has a little bit of a nasal quality, but Bwarie has a more melodious voice.)

The Four Seasons hit the "big time" in 1962 when I was 15 years old.  Frankie Valli has been around ever since.  Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons made music back then that helped define my generation and me.   Last night I wanted to sing.  I wanted to dance.  I wanted to cry.  Most of all I wanted to be 15 again, when life was mostly still ahead and the possibilities were endless.

Hearing those songs again last night was heaven all right!  "Jersey Boys" who made good in the best possible way.  "Oh, What a Night!"

"All the World's a Stage" Story #2

I am not overly fond of working with large numbers young children in shows.  They are very energetic, often without much supervision, and sometimes they just can be totally out of control.  They are usually good once they hit the stage, but off stage they're a trial.  Perhaps its different with "professional" shows, but in community theater (my bailiwick) that's how it is.  There are a few musicals that I've done that are good shows for adults but they have a fair number of kids, e.g.,  "Oliver", "Annie", and "The Sound of Music".  Despite my preference not to work with kids, I have been in each of those shows.  The kids are intrinsic to the story, so you either deal with them or you don't do the show.  Simple!

But every now and then there is an experience with a child that doesn't quite fit the mold.  I was doing "The Sound of Music", playing the role of the Frau Schultz (the housekeeper), she  is only in the 2nd act so I just hung out back stage for the 1st act.

Captain Von Trapp's children range from 16 years old down to about 6.   The role of the youngest child was being played by a darling little red-haired girl, slightly small for her age, who had never been on stage before.  She was a real cutie, had a nice little voice, and learned her lines and blocking fairly easily.  She was the kind of child that would make the audience say "awww" as soon as she walked on stage. 

Opening night arrived and all the kids were excited but didn't appear to be particularly nervous, including the little red-head.  She entered on her cue, remembered her lines and her blocking, and was fully engaged in the scene.  The first song the kids were involved in is "My Favorite Things",  which Maria sings to the children to distract them from a thunderstorm outside.

The scene takes place in Maria's bedroom, with the kids seated around and on the bed.  The little red-head was to sit cross-legged on the floor next to the bed, which she did, listening to Maria sing.  When the song was over, kids were supposed to jump up and exit to stage right, which they did....except for the little red-haired girl.  She just sat there.  Maria had a bit of business to do before the stage went dark for the next scene, but the kids were supposed to be gone.  The stage manager in the wings and the little one's mother were desperately trying to get her to come off the stage, but she just shook her head and sat there.  No one could figure out what was going on and the director was beginning to panic.

We were extremely fortunate that "Maria" was not only a seasoned performer, she was a kindergarten teacher in her real life, so an extra little girl on stage didn't throw her very much.  Keeping totally in character, she went over and knelt down next to the little redhead.  We could see they were having a whispered conversation, and we could see tears rolling down the little one's cheeks.  After a bit, Maria scooped her up in her arms, the little girl laid her head on Maria's shoulder as Maria carried her off.  The scene went to black. 

Maria set her down off stage, the little girl ran to her mother and they disappeared toward the dressing room with the director.  It was time for a scene change on stage, so the working blue lights came up, giving off just enough light for everyone to see the big wet spot on stage.  You could hear the audience murmuring sympathetically. 

Oh no, the poor little thing!  She had an accident on stage and didn't know what to do about it.  But, from a theatrical point of view, she hit it dead on!  She kept in character, she tried to keep anyone from knowing, and she tried to do what was best for the show!

Of course, it was an enormous topic of conversation back stage, but there wasn't a mother among us, whose heart didn't break just a little bit for the little cutie.  We were afraid that she wouldn't be willing to go back on stage after that.  That kind of thing could scar a kid for life!  But we underestimated her, that little cutie was a trouper!  She went back on that night and every performance thereafter through the whole run. 

However, before every performance from then on, the little redhead went around back stage and told absolutely everyone, sometimes more than once, from Maria to the leads, to the chorus to the stage hands and even to the musicians, "I'm fine, I've gone to the bathroom!"

I don't know if she did anymore shows, but I think she probably did.  But I can guarantee you that she hits the bathroom just before the start of absolutely every show she ever does for the rest of her life!

Live theater!  Isn't it great?