"The Best Gift"

I have mentioned before that Mikey and I met in college choir at the Univ.of Ill.- Chicago in 1964.  Our first evening together was on December 10, it wasn't really a date. Our first official date occurred a few days after that.  Nevertheless, December 10 is the anniversary of when we began this long journey we've been on.

The choir was incredibly good.  Both Mikey and I had sung in high school choirs and treasured the opportunity to sing under the direction of  Dr. Edwin Fissinger, a dear sweet man and musical genius, whom we all loved. He was "The Sir" to us all and singing with him was one of the best experiences of my life.  He was a hard taskmaster when it came to music and he got the best from all of us!  We sang beautiful music with complicated rhythms and intricate harmonies and unusual arrangements, some of which were written or arranged by The Sir.  Mikey and I had the good fortune to sing in  the choirs Dr. Fissinger directed --  both of us in the Concert Choir and the Chamber Choir, and I sang in the Madrigal group as well.

The choir presented a Christmas Concert that night at Elmhurst College (I think), which is about an hour's drive from the campus of of UICC.  Like most such events, (from grammar school field trips to college sports team games),  the choir traveled via bus between the two schools.

That night after the concert filled with wonderful Christmas music,  Mikey and I sat together on the bus ride back to our own campus.  How many romances, I wonder, have begun on long, bumpy, noisy rides on a school bus?   We talked and laughed and even had a couple of those heart-stopping moments when two people discover that they have found their special someone....by the end of the trip, I was in love!  And the rest, as they say, is history!  We have been together ever since!  This will be our 48th Christmas together!  (Good grief, Charley Brown!)

I don't know why it never occurred to me before now, but our whole history for nearly half a century, grew from its start in the Christmas Season.  Perhaps that is part of the reason we are both such Christmas junkies!  Christmas time is like an anniversary of sorts and we indulge in our mutual love of all things Christmas every year.

I was remembering that whole time just a day or two ago.  Remembering that discovery process and remembering how wonderful it all felt to have an honest-to-goodness boyfriend.  And not only a boyfriend, but I pretty quickly came to the realization that Mikey was my Mr. Right!

But the biggest revelation was one I don't recall ever being aware of before:   Mikey, my Big Guy, my Mr. Right, was "The Best Gift" I ever received on that or any other Christmas!  Without this man and the love that came into my life that night,  everything would be different.  Everything!   None of the best and most wonderful things that have brought me to today would have ever happened!    I, of course, have no way of knowing where I might have ended up without Mikey, but I do know this:  I never would have found anyone else who would have been such a perfect life partner.  We suit each other, we fit together, we've weathered a lot of change over the years, but that start in December of 1964 was just the way it was supposed to be....and I'm pretty sure that Mikey might just feel exactly the same about me!

And we came together at Christmas!  Oh yes, "The Best Gift": indeed!

"Nobody Knows You When You're Down And Out"

The Big Guy and I were out to dinner with Ratchlet and M-t-G a couple of weeks ago.  Nothing special, but sometimes everyone is so busy, that dinner allows us to catch up without it being a huge project to coordinate calendars etc.

Somehow, and I really don't remember why, I mentioned something about the time I broke my right wrist and my left elbow at the same time.  It happened about 25 years ago or so, when I fell at a dance rehearsal for a production of "My Fair Lady" that I was in.  Both of my arms were in casts from just before Thanksgiving until about the middle of January.  I couldn't do ANYTHING myself, at least not initially!   I only had two fingers and one thumb that were not encased in plaster!  You can't do much with only two fingers and one thumb!  Trust me!!   I couldn't dress myself, I couldn't drive, I couldn't cook, I couldn't comb my hair, I couldn't even pick up a telephone!  I couldn't work for about two weeks, while I  learned  how to function with two big old clunky impediments attached to my arms!

The Big Guy did yeoman service helping me with my clothes, washing and combing my hair,  generally taking care of everything that required the use of two hands.  I remember very clearly how helpful he was.  He was terrific. The fall occurred two days before Thanksgiving and he did the whole meal himself.  My mom and Ratchlet (home from college for the holiday), were the helpers but I was pretty much out of commission because not only was I unable to do much, I was still in a bunch of pain!

As time moved on I slooooowly got back some function, but it was Christmas time and I just wasn't able to do a lot of shopping, or cooking, or cleaning, or writing, or decorating, or anything.  Mikey, Ratchlet and my mom did most everything and Christmas was as wonderful as always!  They were all terrific!  And I was really grateful.

So back to our dinner with Ratchlet and M-t-G a couple of weeks ago....I mentioned the two broken arms and I was shocked when Mikey said he didn't remember me having two broken arms. WHAT???  He didn't remember???  How could he NOT remember??  It was a major trauma!  It was a BIG DEAL.  It impacted his life almost as much as mine. I was basically out of commission for 8 WEEKS!  and he DIDN'T REMEMBER???  

I must admit I was floored, flummoxed, and flabbergasted!  And a little bit hurt.  We lived in the same house, slept in the same bed, did a lot of stuff together.  But somehow it slipped his mind?  That's just insulting!  I couldn't believe it and I was rather vocal about the whole thing, getting more worked up.  Then Ratchlet popped up and said she didn't remember it either!  WHAT?  Seriously?  Was I invisible?  I had two broken arms and they were in casts, couldn't they see me??    Did they even notice that I was part of their family??

At least Ratchlet was apologetic for not remembering..  I told her that I could kind of understand her not remembering.  After all she was miles and miles away at school for most of that time, but that her father had been right across the table!!

At this point M-t-G piped up and said, "How big was the table?"


Oh how we laughed and laughed and laughed!  Two points, Maddie!  Best line of the night!


(Still, I bet my mother would have remembered!)

"I Never Knew"

I read somewhere a long time ago, that one of the things that keeps you "young" is continuing to learn new things to keep your mind active (or something like that.)   If I pay attention, I keep encountering things "I Never Knew."  So I thought I'd share a few of my most recent factual finds, after all, maybe you never knew either!  :)



1.  I find it amazing that Author and Playwright of the Pulitzer prize winning drama, "Our Town", Thornton Wilder (born 1897) was actually three years YOUNGER than Soviet Premier, Nikita Khrushchev (born 1894)!  Somehow they don't really seem like they could even be part of the same era!  A fact that I had to ponder for a while to accept that it could be true!  But it was!



2.  Have you ever heard of an  in·ter·ro·bang??  Me neither.  Although I am a reasonably well-educated and well-read person, I had never stumbled across this word.  But Webster tells me it is a real word!  Who knew there was such a thing?

Oh, you want to know what it means?  Well, of course you do!


An interrobang is a printed punctuation mark (‽), available only in some typefaces, designed to combine the question mark (?) and the exclamation point (!), " indicating a mixture of query and interjection, as after a rhetorical question."  Hmmmm, seems like it would be very useful and should have appeared in printed materials a lot, don't you think‽    So, how come I've never seen it before‽‽  (That's definitely a rhetorical question.)



3.  This one is not so much of a surprise, considering how little I watch TV or go to the movies, still.....anybody still remember the original television production of Rogers and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" from 1961 with Leslie Ann Warren as Cinderella?  I remember seeing it on our small (no more than 17 inches, tops) screen TV when I was about 14 years old.   I thought Lesley Anne was a beautiful Cinderella and I think I fell for the prince, just like she did!  :)  I love the music too....."In My Own Little Corner".... "Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful?"...."Ten Minutes Ago."    Perfect songs for Cinderella and not nearly so cutesy as the Disney version's "Bibbetdy Boppitdy Boo"  or "Cinderelly."  But until this week, I never knew there was another very well done production of Roger's and Hammerstein's "Cinderella" made in 1997 with Whitney Houston, Bernadette Peters, Whoopi Goldberg, Jason Alexander, and Brandi, in the title role. The Prince was played by Paulo Montalban, a particular appealing young man!  It was made with color-blind casting which I find disconcerting visually.  Nevertheless once you get past that (in just a few minutes),  I think it was actually better than the original!  Film for television has come a long way since 1961!  If you've never seen it either, the film is on YouTube and only about 90 minutes long.  And there isn't a singing mouse in either version!!






4.  Now this is not a great revelation of some factual tidbit, but this one rocked me anyway....I found out that my husband, the Big Guy, with both a Bachelor's and a Master's degree, the fellow who enjoys reading as much as the rest of us in the family, the man who knows a lot about a lot of diverse and interesting things, the guy I have been married to for 46 years...... has never read "To Kill a Mockingbird!"   Never‽‽  Not only that (and this is really hard for me to believe), but neither has he seen the movie!!!  How is this possible ‽‽   One of the most influential and well-written books of the 20th Century, and he never read it!  Wow!  Talk about "rock my world!!"    


[Did you see the interrobangs?  I really am surprised they never caught on!]






So, have you learned anything new lately?  Want to share??  Go ahead!  You know you want to!!!  lol!


Class dismissed.....

"Things I Couldn't Say" (aka Dear So and So)

It's a long time since I have posted a new batch of "Things I Couldn't Say" or Dear So and So.....but today is the day!! 

Dear Makers of....uhhh....Stuff ,

The other night I was sitting in my house, piddling and puttering around, minding my own business. when I realized I could hear someone talking.  The TV was not on, the computer was muted, it was too clear to be coming from outside.  It being nighttime, of course, I was home alone.  Needless to say, I was a bit frightened...uhhh... intrigued, and I had to track it down immediatly before panic set in....uhh...I called 911..uhhh...to identify the source.

Using my precise and keen sense of hearing....uhhh....By the process of elimination, I realized it was coming from the master bedroom.  Hmmm, that's odd.  There is no way in or out of that room except by the doorway from the small hallway off the family room.  I gingerly opened the door and immediately realized that the voices were coming from the new clock/radio the Big Guy just got.  For whatever reason, it had turned itself on.  (I want you to know that I am using great restraint here in not taking this post off in a completely different direction brought to mind by that phrase!!)

Okay, well, mystery solved, no intruders, no danger Will Robinson, nothing but an alarm set to the wrong time!  Wheeew!!  Relief.

So, you might say, why am I bothering you about this??  Aha!  We come to the crux of the matter!!
Pay attention, this is important.

The little clock radio in its rather attractive, yet sleekly techno looking design, had 7 "buttons" that were the controls.  They were labelled with very small letters chiseled into the metal of the case.
In a dimly lit room, by a set of 65 year of eyes, these letters were nearly impossible to read.  Not to worry, one of them had to be the power switch to turn the darned thing off.

EXCEPT THAT NOT ONE OF THOSE LITTLE BUTTONS DID ANYTHING TO TURN OFF THE RADIO!!!!  This wasn't brain surgery here, I just wanted to get rid of the noise!  I tried all sorts of combinations, different sequences, whatever I could think of.  I was nearly at the point of picking it up and hurling it against the wall!  Finally, after ten minutes of the damn thing blasting in my ears, something I did (I have no clue what) finally turned it off.  Ahhhhhhh!

My question?  Would it really be so detrimental to your "design concept", to CLEARLY MARK the on/off, power button???  There was nothing on the thing that was of any help at all!  Nothing!  No little red light, nothing that even said "start here, dummy"  Nothing, Nada, Zip!

It seems to me to be a perfect example of design over function run amok!  It really shouldn't take a Masters degree in electrical engineering to just turn the damn thing off!

I have just two more words for you.....FIX THIS!!

Disgustedly,
Mel

************

Dear Whomever,

I don't know who made the decision to completely eliminate the concept of a person on the staff of gas stations being there to help motorists re-fuel their cars, but it was a sucky decision!  Yes, yes, I understand about saving money by pumping it yourself, but there are times when having someone around who was there to HELP their customers (i.e., in bad weather, when a driver is impaired by an injury, in a real hurry, whatever) would be worth a few more cents a gallon!  Especially since we are already paying nearly $3.50 a gallon!!

Little old-ish ladies shouldn't have to stand outside in freezing temps, with a sharp wind, blowing icy sleet particles which feel like little shards of glass, directly into one's face just to get gas in their tank!

Just seems like good customer service to me!  You remember when that was a goal of every company, don't you?  I do!

Frozenly,
Mel

***********

Dear E-Bay Users,

Could all of you who are looking for the perfect art deco stained glass lampshade just go outside and play for a while?  My Mikey has been looking for days for just the right shade for a vintage lamp he bought.  He keeps getting outbid at the last minute (second??)  He is getting discouraged.  Mikey has very little patience and when he wants something, he wants it NOW.  All you last minute bidders are spoiling his fun.  He's getting a little testy....in fact, he's almost snarky.

So, could you all just go do something else for a while so that he can get the right shade and put us....uhh.....him out of his misery?  Please??!

Pleadingly,
The Big Guy's Wife

************

Dear Judges of Science Fairs (Austin version),

Tomorrow is the Regional Science Fair for grammar school kids (ages 8-11) in the Austin School District.  I am asking, as the grandmother of one of the exhibitors, that you please give close attention to the effort of one fifth-grader whose project (relating to reading facial expressions....i.e., real vs fake smiles) is dear to my heart.  Actually, it's not the project that's dear, it's the exhibitor!

It would be lovely for that smart, not so little 5th grade to take home a ribbon for her effort.  It was an interesting concept and she executed it very well.  She deserves a ribbon.  Doesn't matter which one (3rd, 2nd, 1st, even Honorable Mention), any of them would do.

After three years of projects, this is the first one that has advanced to this level.  It would be a real boon to her to be recognized! 

So what do you say?  Give the kid a ribbon, huh?  She would really be happy!

(GO M-T-G!!)

A Loving and Proud Grammy,
Mel

************

Dear Users of E-readers,

I just have a quick observation to share with you. 

I think it's a real pity that all the various e-readers, like the Kindle and Nook, are not made, marketed, and sold by companies other than booksellers.  Perhaps then the e-book offerings would be priced more reasonably and the selections offered for "free" or at least inexpensively, would be more than just a clearing house for self-published, poorly written, poorly edited, dreck!

And could someone please explain to me what the hell is the point of a Kindle Single, and why I should want to buy one???

I read quickly and go through books like water.  Buying best sellers would break the bank in the blink of an eye!  It is very clear that the e-reader is not for the convenience of the reader, it is for the profit of the publishers and booksellers!

I'm beginning to miss the Library!

Mel

**************

Dear Blogland,

If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow ( http://3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com/ ), hook up with her Linky and add your own! It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters even grumpier than mine!!

Your friend,
Mel

"The Best Gift"

It's not that we have an official competition or anything. We don't really. On the whole, we're not that competitive. Still we all (that would be the Big Guy, Ratchlet, and me, the official Christmas shoppers), try very hard to find gifts that are suited to each other....books by favorite authors, the newest CD from a favorite artist, a canister set that would be just perfect for a newly-remodeled kitchen (but wasn't), the toy a child just can't live without....I'm sure everyone does that kind of thing to some extent.

We go a step or two further than some.  If we should happen to stumble upon something we had never even thought about, that would be absolutely and completely right for someone in our family, well, that is a definite mitzvah, a blessing!  (Hey, I'm playing a Jewish mother in my upcoming show....it wears off, you know?)  If we find that something we know in our hearts, will touch the recipient with some emotional connection, well, we know it will be "The Best Gift".  I wrote about this breifly in a previous post, (from a Christmas-Past.)  The ultimate, most successful and wonderful-est gift is the one that brings the tears.

Please don't think we are weird! It isn't that we want to make each other cry! It's just that we each hope that one special gift (always the last one to be opened) will be truly perfect! We do this with all the love in our hearts for each other. It doesn't happen every year for every one of us. In fact, some years no one gets a "best gift". And that's okay. It is a matter of happenstance or serendipity or divine inspiration or possibly just good luck to come across the best gift. It is rarely the most expensive thing received. The monetary value has nothing to do with it. It doesn't come from the most exclusive store. In fact, sometimes it has been purchased in a thrift, resale, or consignment store, it might have been found in some random catalog, or a small specialty store, or a big department store.  It may be not much more than a small memento of some event or experience or interest.   There’s no planning it.  It’s one of those “know it when you see it” kind of things.  It might be new or it might not. It might mean absolutely nothing to anyone one else in the world, but for the right person....ahhhh, it brings a lump in the throat and tears to the eyes and great joy knowing that someone in your family knows you so well, that they managed to find a best gift just for you.

Over the years, we have hit it many times with Ratchlet, we did it frequently with my mom, occasionally with my sister, even few times with my dad. I am an easy mark....I cry more often than anyone. If you've never had a similar experience, this may not mean much to you. But in our family getting a "best gift" is the ultimate in happiness and love. I know that M-t-G is still too young for us to identify a "best gift" for her, her tastes are still forming, she is not overly sentimental, she is enamored of everything she gets….to her they are all “best”.  TA is another story.  Gifts are not important to him.  His family functioned differently and sometimes he just doesn’t quite get the whole gift thing at all.  His enjoyment comes from the togetherness and family.

My mom was a magician at Christmas.  She was able to give us all a wonderful Christmas every year, no matter how low the coffers might have been.  She started this “tradition” many, many years ago.  She was the most loving and giving woman, and at Christmas, Mom was at her very best.  She always went overboard as far as numbers of gifts and she, too, would hit with the “best gift” for one of us nearly every year.  So this has been a part of Christmas for my whole life.  Mikey and I have always tried for the same loving and happy Christmas that Mom gave us.  We love our family’s Christmas and all it’s traditions. 

And this year, there was a “best gift”.  It was perhaps, the best “best gift” ever!  And it was for someone who frequently was able to give “best gifts”, but had never experienced one himself.  Yes, the  recipient of the best gift this year was my Mikey!  Despite years of thinking that maybe this year will be the one.  This will be the time, I manage to find the perfect gift for him, the “best gift”.  There have been many times that he has really liked one gift or another, but the ultimate indication of the “best gift” never occurred.  No tears.  No “crying for happy.”  No special feeling of sentiment and emotion all tied up in love and joy.   And year after year, I felt let down when my hopes were dashed again.  I just never hit it quite right.  I wanted to find the perfect thing that would let Mikey feel the same happiness that the rest of us had felt knowing that we were loved so much and known so well!  It didn’t happen.  It was frustrating, but I kept trying.



I am almost reluctant to tell you what it was.  It wasn’t incredibly expensive, it wasn’t all that exotic or rare, it wasn’t something that everyone would want, or even something that would be special for most people.  But it was special for my Mikey. Mikey's heritage is Irish, his grandparents came here from County Mayo.  His Dad had spent some time in Ireland as a young man.  That heritage is imporant to Mikey.  The last present he opened this year was a genuine,  Irish Shillelagh, made by hand from blackthorn wood harvested from remote areas of County Wicklow, Cork, or Kerry in Ireland  along with a certificate of authenticity.  It was beautiful in a gnarly sort of way, highly polished, and just the right height for a walking stick.   He absolutely loved it. 



This isn't it, but it is very similar!

 It was a great moment!  After forty plus years, Mikey finally got his “best gift”!!  And he cried for happy! 


Merry Christmas, Bunky!

"Sh-Boom"

There are certain words or phrases that just should not appear within the same paragraph. When they do you know, the story is not going to have a happy ending.   Words like "fuel pump", "electrical short", "melted", "gas tank" and most especially "boom"!  Today the Big Guy was telling me about his car, which has been in the shop all week. The service department called him this morning to explain what was making his car engine just suddenly die for no apparent reason right in the middle of moving traffic! 

In the re-telling, the Big Guy used four out of those five phrases!  I don't exactly understand what was broken or what was happening.  I couldn't get past hearing that particular combination of words relating to his car.  The car he drives every day to work and back, in the middle of the night, when roads are empty and there isn't much of anyone around.  Yikes, an electrical short?  in the fuel pump??  melting some essential something?  IN THE GAS TANK????

The word that was missing from the narrative was "boom"!!  Thank goodness!

Can we talk about charmed lives here?   Instead of just needing a tow to the car service department, it could have ended with a very different scenario.  Shorts make sparks, sparks make fire, fire makes gas go BOOM!  No more Mikey!

But it didn't happen because in addition to all of Mikey's strengths, my guy is charmed, blessed, fortunate, advantaged, chosen, elite,  privileged, select, singled out, on a roll, on a streak, and can-you-flippin'-believe-it LUCKY!!

"Sh-Boom", indeed!  Whew!

"My Guy"

I thought I'd give you a bit of an update on "My Guy"....There is nothing major going on with him.

End  of update.



(HAHAHAHAHA!!!  Sorry, I just couldn't resist.  Have I mentioned that I have a quirky sense of humor?)

But seriously, folks, Mikey  probably wouldn't say anything much different.  His life has been pretty quiet this year.  It's been a full year since his episode with Bell's Palsy arrived last August.  Everyone he talked to at the beginning said that the paralysis could last anywhere from 3 months to a year.  By then it was pretty much gone for most folks.  It wasn't a guarantee, however.  For some people it never went completely away. 

Even though it is much improved, he is still bothered by the watery eyes and the changes to his sense of taste.  But the thing he dislikes the most is that the muscles in his right cheek feel to him as if they have all tightened up and distorted the way it feels and sounds when he talks. It bothers him.  All of the doctors that he's seen have told him that there wasn't anything that could be done.  Either it goes away or it doesn't.  Well, that's encouraging.

He tried several weeks of acupuncture treatments, but they appear to have been ineffective.  Tomorrow he will see a physical therapist who has had some success with a course of therapy sessions.  We'll see how it goes.  If  that doesn't help, there doesn't appear to be any other treatment options out there.

As hard as it is for him to accept, he may well be one of the unlucky ones for whom it never completely goes away.  We know that this is NOT debilitating in the extreme, it won't kill him or disable him.  It will just annoy him.  And an annoyed Mikey is a no-fun Mikey!

On a more positive note, however, he is slowly becoming a mere shadow of his former self!  He has been on a liquid diet program (Optifast) since July.  He has lost something around 25 pounds and he is looking good.  His tummy is now flatter than mine!  (How unfair is that??  lol!)  His total weight is under 200 lbs for the first time in a number of years.  He has about 6-8 more weeks until he moves into the next stage of the process.  That stage is called the "refeeding" stage, which sounds more like something farm animals do at the end of winter!  It isn't that exactly, however, it is the time when solid foods are reintroduced and one actual meal a day is added.  

I want to assure everyone, this is all under a supervised program.  He weighs in weekly, he sees the doctor periodically for checking his vitals, he attends a weekly group session with a nurse/nutrition counselor (or something like that) and other participants in the program.  Also, he has done this before a couple of times and was very successful.  So we don't worry about his overall health being affected.

I would not ever have the strength and discipline needed to go through a program like this.  I would fail miserably, but he has the self-discipline and commitment to stick to it!  I don't know what his actual goal weight is but I know he will hit it (or pretty close).  The trick is (as always) sticking to healthy eating once the program is over.

Still, for the moment at least,"My Guy" is well on his way to becoming the lean, mean, fighting machine (well, not really, but you know what I mean), formerly known as The Big Guy.  Go, go, go, Mikey!