Deer! Deer! What can the matter be?

It's December and I haven't yet come up with my seasonal design for this month....been kinda busy!  But in anticipation of the season (winter hasn't arrived yet in Austin) I wanted to share this delightful photo.  I stole it from a friend on Facebook.  I don't know the source, but you all know I could NEVER manage to actually TAKE a photo like this myself!

This is just so bittersweet funny, I wanted to share it with all of you!

  


Times are hard in the the forest at this time of year!

 

P.S.  In looking at this photo now after posting it, I am filled with the feeling that I have used this photo before.  I looked around a bit, but didn't see it.  That means precisely nothing though, I've been writing for 2 1/2 years now....that's a lot of posting to look through!  Anyway, if it is a duplicate of a previous post, I apologize.  Still, it's worth a repeat even if I have used it before!

"Poetry in Motion"

Yesterday in one of my Dear So and So letters, I asked the question, "Does anybody even know what an actuary is?  I didn't really expect an answer, it was sort of a rhetorical question.  Nevertheless, the ever-popular "Anonymous" replied that she actually knew an actuary, but still didn't know what an actuary does!

 

For whatever reason, this exchange sparked one of my infrequent forays into "Poetry in Motion".  I was inspired to write:

 

 The Actual Actuary*

 

He was an actual Actuary,

At least that's what he said.

"Whatever that is", I did parry,

With not one clue in my head.

He said 'twas important, even very!

To keeping them out of the red.

 

Still I was a little bit wary,

and refused his wish to wed.

Such a man I could not marry

No matter how he "pled",

For he only worked at a mortuary

Just counting up the dead!

 

                                                                                         -- Mellodee625 

 

Not exactly "Poetry in Motion."  I'm certainly no Frost or Yeats or even Nash.  Still, it's a poem.  There may be very little motion and not much poetry, but as I told Anonymous, it's not all that bad considering the lateness of the hour!  lol! 

 

 

* Just a gentle reminder all written content of this blog is my personal property and created solely by me unless credited otherwise. As such, please respect my work as copyrighted and ask permission before use and provide appropriate citation and credit. Thank you!

"Spoonful"

They say a picture is worth a thousand words.....sometimes, though, the words really help!

"Spoonful!!"    Get it???   lol!

Don't know why exactly, but this just cracks me up!!

Silent Sunday

I'm trying something new for me -- Silent Sunday.  Obviously I'm not supposed to say anything, Just let the photo tell the story.  So  for the very first time in the history of the my world, I will now shut up!



http://www.mochabeaniemummy.com/silent-sunday/

"Writing Wrongs"

Following up from my last post....I hadn't originally intended to use something today from another's blog, but that was before I went to visit one of my favorite bloggers, Cass at That Old House.  If you love old houses and all things related to making a house into your own, you must go and visit Cass and her beautiful house!  She is quite funny to boot!

A few weeks ago one of Cass's daughters got married and Cass has been sharing all sorts of wonderful things related to the wedding.  Today she posted some photos from her daughter's honeymoon trip to China!  

This particular set of photos had to do with various English signs they saw in China.  Some were very funny (like the instructions you receive along with your latest electronic toy) and were definitely written by someone who's first language was definitely NOT English.  They were definitely "Writing Wrongs!!"

The last photo in the series may or may not have been of the same ilk. Take a look!

(This one is for you Little Sis! If anyone will think it's funny, I bet it will be you!!)

http://cass-thatoldhouse.blogspot.com/

SPOONY!  OMG, it made me laugh right out loud!  Spoony!!  Charles Schultz must be laughing too!  Either that or spinning!

Cass pointed out that this may have been done on purpose to avoid copyright issues.  I hope not!  I'd love for it to be just a random funny mistake, wouldn't you? 

But more than anything, the thing that would really set it off would be if it were a Spoonerism  (the reversal of syllables in a sentence or phrase.... like Hoobert Heever, or one swell foop!.....but I'm not really sure it is. (Anyone know??)  Usually a Spoonerism is mixing syllables from two or more words, and this is obviously only one word.  Nevertheless I choose to think of it as a Spoonerism because that just makes it absolutely perfect!! 

Thanks, Cass, for letting me borrow from you!  This is the best laugh I've had all week!

"Something's Gotta Give"

As I have said many times, I am not a very good photographer.  What that results in, however, is a great love of beautiful and striking photographs taken by people who ARE great photographers!  One of my very favorite photography blogs is Stephen Baird's NikonSniper. 

Now one of the main reasons I love Stephen's photography so much is that not only does he take great photos, he also frequently titles his photographs with a quirky, frequently funny phrase.  The pictures are always beautifully done, but his quirky titles can change a photo from one that will make me smile to one that will make me laugh out loud!  Like the photo below that he posted this week:  

Surfers' Obstacle Course

https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqfdWtwg_yRLEitfElpxP6gStwlEVboGgi6mx4P22x8huewsFCc4K_uXicJNzOD3ppoTCeEUb66ZuRtE1s6X-yDeH9gmeEAC_52PxbagUGb7SsUp_BLliD6vHD9sfXS1Nl1gjZwyJzMfk/s1600/DSC_0279a.jpg

He absolutely nailed it!  Take a closer look at the photo, especially the rocks.  Can't you just see some Extreme Surfer (and they do exist!) trying to maneuver his board through those rocks like a snow skier on a downhill slalom course?  Yep, one of them is going to lose!  It's a law of nature that when two things are on a collision course "Something's Gotta Give"....and it sure ain't gonna be those rocks!  

If you haven't already, go visit NikonSniper, you might love his work too!

All of this brought to mind one of my all time favorite funny stories.  You may have heard it yourself:

Believe it or not...this is the transcript of an actual radio conversation between a US naval ship and Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. The Radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on Oct. 10, 1995.

US Ship:        Please divert your course 0.5 degrees to the south to avoid a collision. 

 

CND reply:   Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

US Ship:       This is the Captain of a US Navy Ship. I say again, divert your course.

CND reply:   No. I say again, you divert YOUR course!

US Ship:       THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS CORAL SEA, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!!

CND reply:   This is a lighthouse. Your call

Isn't that a great story??  It makes me laugh out loud!!  The U.S. Navy, of course, denies it ever happened.  Maybe so, but I hope not!  It's only really funny if it's real!  Still....  :)


creative-3d.net  

♪♪....When an irresistible force, such as you
Meets an old immovable object like me,
You can bet as sure as you live....
Something's gotta give, something's gotta give,
something's gotta give!....♪

                              ~~ Johnny Mercer

"Strangers in the Night"

I have many weaknesses and flaws (as we all do), most of them I try not to indulge in.... with varying levels of success.  There is one that I have a really hard time resisting, and most times I have little success in managing to resist....in fact, I hardly ever really try to resist.  I love  quizzes!  As flaws go, there are worse ones, so I can live with it!

And since we are little more than "Strangers in the Night", I'm going to tell you a little more stuff about my favorite topic, ME!  (Besides I haven't got anything else good to write about at the moment!)  So if you have heard quite enough about me, feel free to contain your enthusiasm!!   :)  Here we go!


1. ONE OF YOUR SCARS, HOW DID YOU GET IT?


I have a scar on my forehead that I got when I fainted in church at age 11.

2. WHAT IS ON THE WALLS IN YOUR ROOM

I have a mirror, a landscape, and lots and lots of bookshelves.

3. DO YOU SNORE, GRIND YOUR TEETH, OR TALK IN YOUR SLEEP?

I have been told that I have done them all.  I do not believe it however!

4. WHAT TYPE OF MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?

This is a MAJOR revelation here:   I don't listen to much of anything anymore.  I like the peace and quiet.

5. WHAT TIME WERE YOU BORN?

Who knows?!  I couldn't tell time yet!  (sheesh)


6. WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?

To be able to breathe freely through BOTH  nostrils.  (Stupid Cold)

7. WHAT DO YOU MISS?

My youth, friends, and about a gazillion restaurants in other parts of the country.


8. WHAT IS YOUR MOST PRIZED POSSESSION(S)?

At the moment, it's my autographed copy of Susan Elizabeth Phillips' newest book!

9. HOW TALL ARE YOU?

5' 2 1/4"

10. DO YOU GET CLAUSTROPHOBIC?

Only small, dark, closed in spaces!   lol!  No, I haven't yet felt claustrophobic


11. DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?

Of course, when I'm home alone and I hear a strange noise!  (I never hear strange noises when the Big Guy is home.)

12. THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?

The Big Guy (It was a "cry for happy" though!  He gave me a Kindle!!)

13. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?

The whole concept of dying!

14. WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOR DO YOU LIKE ON PEOPLE YOU'RE ATTRACTED TO?

Who remembers??


15. WHERE CAN YOU SEE YOURSELF PROPOSING?

Why ever in the world would I want to propose anywhere?

16. COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINK?

Neither, thank you, but I'll take a tall iced tea!

17. FAVORITE PIZZA TOPPING?

Good Italian sausage and mushrooms

18. IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

Gosh, how about a big bag of chips and some onion dip!  (I haven't had that in a couple of years!)

19. FAVORITE COLOR OF ALL TIME?

Certain shades of yellow

20. HAVE YOU EVER EATEN A GOLDFISH?

I sure hope I'm never THAT hungry!

21. WHAT WAS THE FIRST MEANINGFUL GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED?

My dad gave me a pair of dark blue plaid, corduroy Bermuda shorts for Christmas when I was 13.  He picked them out for me and I LOVED them. 


22. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?

Orange or Strawberry??

23. ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?

I'm lucky I can still get single joints moving!

24. FAVORITE CLOTHING BRAND?

The only jeans that fit me correctly are Gloria Vanderbilt Petite Jeans, so I have at least 10 different pairs!

25. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE FEMALE/MALE CELEBRITY?

If I had to pick a living person I guess it would be Meryl Streep.  If I could choose from those no longer with us, I don't think I could pick just one!

26. DO YOU HAVE A PET RIGHT NOW?

Well, it all depends on whether the bunny comes back after winter departs!

27. WHAT KIND IS IT?

I don't know!  It's a bunny!!  He's brown. 

28. WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?

I don't think you can control who you love.

30. SAY A NUMBER FROM ONE TO A HUNDRED?

"A number from one to a hundred"

31. BLONDES OR BRUNETTES?

I liked being blonde a whole lot more than being brunette! 

32. FAVORITE QUOTE?

Oh, there are so many!  I have a ton of favorite lines from different shows/movies.  But quotes from actual people???? Hmmm, let me think.

"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."  -- Benjamin Franklin

and

"If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me." -- Alice Roosevelt Longworth

and

"Dying is easy.  Comedy is hard."  --  Edmund Gwenn


33. FAVORITE PLACE?

On a stage, in a theater, with a full house!
 
 
 
 
P.S.  I stole this meme quiz from  http://maggieosullivan.blogspot.com/ 
She stole it from http://sundaystealing.blogspot.com/  
He stole it from http://aceofhadeon.livejournal.com/11515.html
(You beginning to see a pattern here?) 

"Things I Couldn't Say" (aka Dear So and So....)

Dear Retailers,

I am about to bite the bullet and head out this weekend to begin the dreaded Christmas Shopping.  Would you please put out the kinds of things I would be tempted to buy?  From the little bit of looking I have done so far, it appears as though all the good stuff is no longer on the shelves!  It is only the 3rd of December, so I know you still have good stuff but have just hidden it away for your own family and friends.  Well, you just hurry up and take it back out of hiding because I AM COMING and I don't want to see any junk!!  I won't be responsible for the consequences, if I can't find good gifts to buy! You have been warned!

Assertively,
Mel

>>>>>>>>

Dear Difficult-to-Buy-For Family,

(This means YOU Big Guy and T.A.!)

Amazon.com had the inspired idea a few years ago to set up the capability to allow personal Wish Lists.  Please use yours and at least give us a few hints, because if you don't I can pretty much guarantee that you won't end up getting anything you actually want for Christmas.  'Nuff said!

Clueless,
Mel

<<<<<<<

Note to Self: 

Dear Self,

Follow your own advice, Lazybones!!  Your wish list is at least 3 years old!!  Get on it, already!

Seriously,
Yourself

>>>>>>>

Dear Santa,

Our not-so-little-anymore M-t-G, is 9 1/2 years old this year and is teetering on the edge of "Does she or does she not believe?!!"  So don't say anything to blow it, kay?  I just wanted to give you a heads up, in case she tugs on your beard, or pokes your belly or snorts when you "Ho Ho Ho!"  She told me that she is going to write a letter to you again this year, but that could be just camouflage.  You just never know with kids at this age. 

Good Luck!
M-t-G's Grammy

p.s.  By the way, what the heck do 9 1/2 year old, bright little girls want for Christmas anyway?   Besides their own computer, I-phone or other trendy things I can't afford!!


>>>>>>>

Dear Patron Saint of Lost Things,

I'm sorry to bother you, but would you happen to know off-hand what might have happened to this month's Mortgage billing??  I know that it's due and I know I haven't paid it yet, but I can't find the bloomin' thing!  I could really use a little help here.  That big ol' chunk of money is just sitting there waiting to disappear into the mortgage pit, but no bill!  I don't know if I have enough willpower to actually send off that chunk of change unless I have a bill in my hot little hand screaming,  "PAY ME NOW OR WE WILL COME AND TAKE AWAY YOUR HOUSE!!"  (I hate it when it does that!)

It's Christmas time, ya know.  I could get a bunch of really nice presents if I could use THAT money, instead of just that puny little stack of dollar bills that is my "Christmas Money". 

Uhhh, not to pressure you or anything but....could you hurry??

Leaning toward temptation,
Mel

<<<<<<<<

Dear Radio Stations,

Those of you that are playing nothing but Christmas music from now until exactly 3:57 p.m. on Christmas Day (which is when you have decided that Christmas is officially over), I thank you.   It's a nice effort....however, would you mind dumping all those recordings that: 

1) are bad remakes of old classic recordings 

2) where the "singer" is vocally sliding up and down to hit every single note in the key before finally landing where they are supposed to be, sort of!

3) where the arrangement is so bizarre that it is impossible to even recognize old, familiar favorites!

On behalf of every person that loves beautiful Christmas Music, I beg you to only play:

1)  Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Harry Simeone Chorale, and other choirs that know how to make choral music beautiful.

2)  Andy Williams, Rosemary Clooney, Bing Crosby, Barbara Streisand, Perry Como, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Mel Torme (Are ya' beginning to see where I'm going here???)

3)  Anything by Josh Groban, or The Chipmunks.

Thank you and a Merry Musical Christmas!
(until 3:57 p.m. on 12/25)

Mel

"Send in the Clowns"

Some people are gifted with a crazy sense of humor.  They can come up with the quick comeback, or tell a funny story so well that  milk comes out of your nose!!  They remember every joke they ever heard and have great comic timing.  And they can come up with really funny April Fool's jokes or pranks.  I am not one of those people.  I can occasionally come up with something sort of witty when I'm writing or speaking, but most of the time its a fluke, not something I can call on at a moments notice. 


When I tell a joke, I can be one of those people who after giving the punch line says, "Oh wait, wait, I forgot to tell you that she had a parrot on her head!"  (or whatever element that makes the joke).  Fortunately, I am aware of my poor memory for jokes, so I generally don't try to tell them.  I don't seem able to retain a joke for more than about a day or two at most.

 Now I do have one joke that I think is the funniest joke I've ever heard.  I remember all the elements and the punchline.  I heard this joke about 10 years ago and I don't remember anymore where I heard it or who wrote it.  But I remember the joke. Its still the funniest joke I ever heard.  Unfortunately, I can't share it with you here in a public forum.  It's just a little bit beyond the bounds of what I feel can be repeated in polite company.  Also its a joke that I think is better heard rather than just read.  But if you ever come over to my house (and I'm pretty sure you aren't offended by that type of humor), I'll be glad to tell it to you.


Some folks really come up with great pranks for April Fool's Day.  I read somewhere that Robert Redford and Paul Newman, both gifted practical jokers, would set up each other with some elaborate joke for AFD.  They alternated years and of course they escalated every year.  They did it for years!


And does anybody remember the old Dick Van Dyke Show episode where a practical joker becomes the victim of a joke to teach him a lesson?  It was hysterical.

 Facebook is full of April Fool's jokes and pranks today, some very funny.  Even Google became Topeka for the day!

Anyway, I love hearing about other peoples' clever April Fool's gags. I wish I could come up with a cute April Fool's joke or prank for you here, but I have no inspiration at all.  None.  I haven't got that kind of a gift.  So, if I ever want to include something funny I'll have to ask somebody to "send in the clowns", 'cause, trust me,  I got nothin'!!