"Sing Me No Sad Songs"

In the last four days, I have lost two friends. That's hard to bear.

 The first, Kay M., I have known since I was about 15 as we were in high school together. She was a year younger than I, but in a small school, being in different classes isn't as much of an obstacle to traveling in the same social circle. The second, Doug A., I have only known since last July as he was our Tech Director for "Bus Stop".  Both deaths came as enormous shock and I am deeply saddened.

Of course, the two of them didn't know each other.  They were my friends at different times, in different places,  and for different reasons.  They probably would have liked each other.  I certainly liked them both.

Kay's mother, who lived with her,  had died during the last year when she was well into her 80s.  They had been very close.  Kay was divorced, her daughter grown, with children of her own and living half a country away.  Kay was an independent, bright, open-minded, and funny lady.  She was a writer.  She had literally just moved from FL to TX a few days before Christmas to be close to her daughter.  She went into the hospital within a day.  She had some sort of respiratory problems that took her life last week.

Two days after learning of Kay's death, I learned that Doug had also died suddenly.  Doug was much younger than Kay (in his early 50s), married, father of two daughters and was highly energetic, driven, and committed to whatever he took on.  He was the father of one of our cast members and offered to do lights for the show.  Over the course of rehearsals that turned into lights, sound, set building, re-wiring, some props, and he even fixed the air conditioning.  Doug was one of those people who saw a need and just did it!  And did it well.  He was extremely efficient and I was hoping to work with him  on many more shows.

There is a memorial service for Doug tomorrow which I will attend.  I don't know about plans for celebrating Kay's life, but I am sure that they will be forthcoming and will be fitting to the dear lady she was.

Although I considered them both friends, the reality is that I didn't know either of them extremely well.  In some ways however, they were quite alike.  The both loved life, had many, many friends, and were positive people, who got things done.  And I am positive neither of them would want their friends and families to be sad and grieve for a long time.  I know Kay, and probably Doug, would both say, "Sing Me No Sad Songs."

So I will try not to.  I will just say to each of them....I'm glad you came into my life.  Thank you for sharing yourself and your gifts.  I will miss you.  May you Rest in Peace, my friends.

"Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"

To all of my sweet friends here in blogland,

Thank you for coming to visit my sporadic blog.  Even though I'm not frequently posting these days, I do go and visit many blogs every day.  I love that you all write so eloquently and interestingly and I feel that we are friends!

I want to wish you all the Merriest of Christmases, filled with love and blessings all around.

I'm sending a warm holiday hug to each one of you!!

All the best,

Mellodee

"The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" (Repeat)

Please forgive me, but I have gotten myself in a real bind this year.  Somehow this year I have gotten to two days before our family's Christmas (which happens on Christmas Eve) and everything is topsy turvy.  I am sneaking in a repeat here just because I wanted to write, but if I have any hope of getting on track, I have to pick up my butt and get to it!  So here's a post from a few years ago.  Maybe you haven't read it!  


Every year, all year, I look forward to Christmas.  I think its "the most wonderful time of the year".  I love the decorations, I love the traditions, I love the music, I love having my family close, and I love the look on my daughter's (and granddaughter's) face when they open a particularly perfect present.  Ratchlet gets all teary and sniffly because a present is a sentimental connection to something important to her.  I've managed to hit the mark with one of her gifts nearly every year.  As she has done with me!  (We are an odd family, the gift that makes you cry is the best gift!)

Maddie-the-Great has loved Christmas since she was old enough to sort of know what it was.  The look of excitement when she sees that "Santa's been here!!"  (usually yelled at the top of her lungs), brings a lump to my throat each time.  She gets so happy as she opens each present.  She says, "Santa brought me just what I wanted!"  

The Big Guy is an even bigger fan of Christmas than I am.  He is the one who insists we bring out all the old Christmas things again and again, even tho they are becoming tattered and torn.  (And I pretty much agree with him.)  I've been trying for years to rein-in his gift- giving some, but he seems convinced that more is always better! 

Poor T.A. had the misfortune of marrying into a family of Christmas-addicts!  His reactions are more controlled and he is not as sentimental about the traditional things.  But each year he understands a little bit better than the year before.  Ratchlet and M-t-G's feelings about the holiday, must be rubbing off on him by now!

Every year I promise myself I will get things all done early so that they can be enjoyed throughout the season.  And every year the promise goes by the wayside.  Even if I get an early start, I am still playing catch-up at some point.   Maybe its because I buy too much, or decorate too much, or delay wrapping too much, or several other "too muches" or it might be because everything absolutely must be finished by 3:00 pm Christmas Eve, whatever the reason or combination of reasons, about a week before Christmas, I get to feeling like a Grinch!  It all becomes overwhelming and too much work and I start to snarl at my loved ones.  All I want to do is go back to bed and skip straight to Easter, a much less high-maintenance holiday. 

I thought this year, being retired and all, I could get things done in a leisurely manner.....no rush, no fuss.  Take my time, do a little bit every day until its all done.  Doesn't seem to be working so far.  I'm behind, as usual.  I haven't completely given up hope for no rush, no fuss, but it most probably will become big rush/big fuss, just like always. 

Then at about 3:30 p.m. on Christmas Eve, I'll take a deep breath, and all of a sudden, its "the most wonderful time of the year" again.  Its a tradition. 

Can you find Waldo..unh...Maddie-the Great??

"The Best Gift"

I have mentioned before that Mikey and I met in college choir at the Univ.of Ill.- Chicago in 1964.  Our first evening together was on December 10, it wasn't really a date. Our first official date occurred a few days after that.  Nevertheless, December 10 is the anniversary of when we began this long journey we've been on.

The choir was incredibly good.  Both Mikey and I had sung in high school choirs and treasured the opportunity to sing under the direction of  Dr. Edwin Fissinger, a dear sweet man and musical genius, whom we all loved. He was "The Sir" to us all and singing with him was one of the best experiences of my life.  He was a hard taskmaster when it came to music and he got the best from all of us!  We sang beautiful music with complicated rhythms and intricate harmonies and unusual arrangements, some of which were written or arranged by The Sir.  Mikey and I had the good fortune to sing in  the choirs Dr. Fissinger directed --  both of us in the Concert Choir and the Chamber Choir, and I sang in the Madrigal group as well.

The choir presented a Christmas Concert that night at Elmhurst College (I think), which is about an hour's drive from the campus of of UICC.  Like most such events, (from grammar school field trips to college sports team games),  the choir traveled via bus between the two schools.

That night after the concert filled with wonderful Christmas music,  Mikey and I sat together on the bus ride back to our own campus.  How many romances, I wonder, have begun on long, bumpy, noisy rides on a school bus?   We talked and laughed and even had a couple of those heart-stopping moments when two people discover that they have found their special someone....by the end of the trip, I was in love!  And the rest, as they say, is history!  We have been together ever since!  This will be our 48th Christmas together!  (Good grief, Charley Brown!)

I don't know why it never occurred to me before now, but our whole history for nearly half a century, grew from its start in the Christmas Season.  Perhaps that is part of the reason we are both such Christmas junkies!  Christmas time is like an anniversary of sorts and we indulge in our mutual love of all things Christmas every year.

I was remembering that whole time just a day or two ago.  Remembering that discovery process and remembering how wonderful it all felt to have an honest-to-goodness boyfriend.  And not only a boyfriend, but I pretty quickly came to the realization that Mikey was my Mr. Right!

But the biggest revelation was one I don't recall ever being aware of before:   Mikey, my Big Guy, my Mr. Right, was "The Best Gift" I ever received on that or any other Christmas!  Without this man and the love that came into my life that night,  everything would be different.  Everything!   None of the best and most wonderful things that have brought me to today would have ever happened!    I, of course, have no way of knowing where I might have ended up without Mikey, but I do know this:  I never would have found anyone else who would have been such a perfect life partner.  We suit each other, we fit together, we've weathered a lot of change over the years, but that start in December of 1964 was just the way it was supposed to be....and I'm pretty sure that Mikey might just feel exactly the same about me!

And we came together at Christmas!  Oh yes, "The Best Gift": indeed!

I was in the middle of writing a different blog post, when I heard the news about the school shooting in New Town, Conn.   Because there is not yet  much factual information about how or why this happened,  so this is my gut reaction without a lot of factual information to back it up.

The shootings took place at an elementary school....an ELEMENTARY school....where children between the ages of 5 and 11 go to school.  Something most all of us did when we were between 5 and 11. I don't know much about the situation other than 27 people are reported dead.  Apparently approximately 9 of them were adults; teachers, staff, and such.  That means that at least 18 of them were children.....children somewhere between the ages of 5 and 11.  Eighteen children, shot dead at school.  It is reported that there was one shooter, who is also dead.

It may be unfair and judgmental of me, but at this point, I don't give a rat's ass about that shooter.  I don't care if he was mentally ill.  I don't care if he was a lost soul.  I don't care about whatever happened in his life that brought him to a point where he made the choice to kill 18 young children and 9 others who probably were devoted to the education and preparation for the future of young children.  I don't care about him.

NOTHING in his life, or belief system, or background, mental condition or anything else could possibly explain or excuse why those 18 young children and the 9 others were killed today.  NOTHING!

All I can care about is that 18 children woke up this morning and went off to school just like any other day and just like millions of other children all around the world.  They went off to school with their books in hand, maybe with a lunch bag, possibly nervous about a test, or excited about a school event, or even hating school as kids are sometimes wont to do. Most of them were probably really excited that Christmas was coming in just eleven more days. They went off to school where they are supposed to be safe, protected, and normal.

How can this be happening again?  What kind of world is this we live in?  How will the parents, families, friends, teachers, other residents of that town ever survive the loss of those 18 innocent children??

They were young children.  They went off to school this morning, but they won't be coming home today....or ever again.