It should have come as no surprise. I've done similar things before, with similar results. Somehow though, I thought, that this would be a different kettle of fish. After all, this isn't something that I've had to force myself to do. It doesn't give a physical pain, or require a great deal of physical effort, or even (if truth be told) a great deal of mental effort. So, I thought it wouldn't be a problem. But it is!
What the heck am I blathering about? Basically, how easy it is for a break in a good routine to become the kiss of death to that routine. In other words, I am having to force myself to sit down and write this, because it is becoming increasingly obvious, that if I don't purposely get back to writing on a regular basis, it will result in the end of the Musings....
Several times over the years I have started and tried to establish "good habits" such as exercise, or working on a project of one sort or another. I will diligently work to make an effort to establish a pattern, a time table, a level of consistency which will become so automatic that I won't even notice I will just become proud of my new-found commitment to walking, meditating, crafting, cleaning, or whatever. I will keep at it for several weeks or even longer and I forget all about that "Pride goeth before a fall" thing.
Because sooner or later something happens to break the routine....I twist an ankle or change my schedule or get involved in something else that interrupts my "good habit" Hey, it happens. Life does not remain constant (which is really a good thing!)
When the interruption crops up, I can give myself permission to stop the new habit "for a little while" until ....whatever! The ankle heals, the conflict goes away, or the project concludes. But I just don't ever get back to the "good habit" EVER! Once the pattern is interrupted it cannot be reestablished. It might be that I have lost interest or just keep postponing, or just flat-out forget about it. My original commitment disappears completely and I never go back.
From August until the beginning of October you may recall that I was involved with a show, "Bus Stop". We rehearsed four nights a week and there were other time requirements that pretty much took all my time and energy, so I didn't write much. I thought all the while that it was just an interruption and I'd get back to writing more regularly as soon as the show closed.
Well the show closed a month ago and I haven't returned to writing regularly! At this point, I doubt if anybody much cares anymore. My blogland friends have pretty much given up on me I think....and I certainly can't blame them. Why ever would anybody want to keep visiting when there is nothing new to read?? I wouldn't visit another site with the same problem, so I can't expect anyone to do any better than I would.
The thing is, I really like having this outlet for my own thoughts and opinions and I like writing it. But as I said, once a habit is broken, I find it really difficult to resurrect it!
So here's the deal, I need your "Help" in the form of encouragement or interest or some sort of acknowledgement that I actually have readers who care where or not I return. I have always loved your comments and visits, but at times, when it seems as if no one is even reading this it takes more effort to make it continue. And now with a three-month hiatus and a bad track-record on re-instituting a "good habit", I have a lot of lethargy about getting back on track.
I never wanted nor expected that "Bus Stop" would be the end of the line for the Musings, I should have known better. Is anyone still on the bus?? :)