Thursday, October 22, 2009

"Dem Bones"

Okay, I'm beginning to get seriously pissed off!  I mean, really!  I have been in remarkably good health during my adulthood.  Nothing very serious has gone  wrong.  Which is a good thing.  But now, it appears I am on that slow slide downward that comes to us all.

There are the exterior changes we expect (the grey hair, the wrinkles). Okay, I accept that.  Some days are creakier than others.  At least, I'm still mobile.  When I was a kid, I wanted glasses, mostly because all the "cool" kids had them.  Now, like everyone else over 40, I rely on my glasses in order to see small things.  And I need really good light to read.  That's okay too.

I'm beginning to get all those brown spots that older folks get.  You know, the little "tags", moles, age spots, and strange bumps.  They are not attractive al all, but they aren't a problem if you're vigilant.  I have just been cleared on that score for another year.  My spots are just spots!  If they get too ugly, I'll have them removed.

It's true, I can't hear worth a hoot!  Particularly people who mutter.   Even that's okay, although it does annoy my family.  When it gets to be necessary, I'll get a hearing "device", so I don't miss everything!

But there are two things that have been revealed recently that really tick me off! 

I have catarracts!!  In both eyes!  That's just flat WRONG!  Don't catarracts come to the truly elderly??  You know, the little folks of 80+ years or more!!  I always thought so.  Isn't that what gives the elderly those "rheumy" eyes?   Considering all my senses, my eyesight is the most important to me!  Reading, writing, driving - when your eyesight goes, it is a HUGE problem.  On the positive side, however, there is surgical treatment available.  My eye doctor told me mine aren't bad enough to worry about right now.  Okay, I can live with catarracts for now.

But the latest thing has just pushed me over the edge.  I AM NOT ALL THAT OLD!!  I am 63.  I, by rights, should still be in the work force.  Still active, still know, still young! 

Here's the thing, I am a petite woman (not short!)  My height has been 5' 2 1/2" since 1962!   I am taller than Little Sis, taller than Ratchlet (by 1/2"!!!), and I was taller than my mom. I have never felt short and it always surprises me when someone makes a comment about how short I am.  

As part of my annual physical this year, I had a bone density test.  The last one I had, about 3 years ago, showed good bone density and healthy bones and that I was 5' 2 1/2" tall.  Check!  I never thought much about "dem bones", but this test came back with almost the same report, except that now I was 5' 2" tall. 

 WHAT???  WAIT!  Where's my half inch??  What happened to it?  Where did it go??  I want it back right now!  I need that 1/2"!  That's what kept me from being short!  I can't be short.  My whole psyche is wrapped up in not being short.  What will I do without my 1/2"??

So now you see why I am seriously pissed.  Enough, with all the physical changes coming along.  I am done!  No more!!  No new surprises.  I don't want to be the incredible shrinking woman!  I want to stay in the ranks of the "not short"!!

This is just unacceptable.  Does anyone know where the complaint department is?


  1. I see we are on similar paths! Shrinking and with catarracts. I wear monovision contacts, but need readers for close reading and another strength of readers for the friggin' computer! At least once we can have the surgery we should be able to see better than we have in a long time. Although, I guess (thanks to the insurance companies) your eye has to be pretty far gone before they'll do the surgery.

    As for the shrinking, what the heck. Women in my family shrink - I'm still taller than most of them!

    And getting older still beats the alternative.

  2. Yeah, I know there are many worse things the could happen. But they're not the least bit funny. I can write about this little stuff without scaring myself to death! (tee hee)

  3. Are you angry enough to quit smoking?

  4. I'm 5'2" so I'd better not lose any half inches! :)


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