1, Why Santa has flying reindeer? Why not flying moose? or flying horses? or better yet geese?? At least geese actually DO fly!
2. On average, how many trees are cut down each year for Christmas trees? On second thought, I don't want to know!
3. How many times a department store Santa gets peed on each year? Or how many times he has to change his suit?
4. Why Macy's chose ginormous bags filled with hot air, painted to look like really overgrown cartoon characters as their iconic Christmas parade tradition?
5. If Santa might moonlight as a chimney sweep in the off-season?
6. What genius scheduled the two biggest holidays of the year within a month of each other? Why not one of them in May? Absolutely nothing important happens in May and the weather is better!
7. How many elves Santa actually has? And do you suppose poor Mrs. Claus has to cook for them all?? Who does all those dishes??
8. Why does Santa say HoHoHo? Why not HaHaHa or HeeHeeHee?
9. Why the Kings brought gold, frankincense and myrrh? Diapers might have been more useful!
10. Why did Santa choose those names for the reindeer? I understand Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and the others, but Donner? Makes no sense! What's a Donner??
11. Do you suppose that Santa is sick of cookies by now??
12. If a Yule Log is related to Yul Brynner? (This is Mikey's contribution! Silly man! He's been making me laugh for 45 years!)
Bonus question: Did ya' ever wonder, why I am spending time on this, when I should be wrapping, decorating, or finishing up that pesky shopping??? Okay, okay, I'm going!
Well..yes..I did sort of wonder..but then I thought...she is just trying to get us to THINK this time of year, an not panic. It didn't do any good. I went into a panic wondering where you went suddenly! I'm very insecure!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean "absolutely nothing important happens in May"? My birthday is in May!!
ReplyDeleteSigned,
The Big Guy
OOPS!! Uhhh, I meant, um...ah...
ReplyDeleteGLOBALLY! That's what I meant. Nothing important on the global scale! As special as you are, Big Guy, your birthday is not a GLOBAL event!
(Whew!)
Hey , my birthday is in May, too. A lot of famous people were born in May. (Though I can't think of any one other that Big Guy and me) And don't forget that beloved Hallmark holiday "Mother's Day."
ReplyDeleteJust kidding, I like the post!