Saturday, November 6, 2010

"Things I Couldn't Say" (aka Dear So and So)

I'm pretty sure when I started doing the Dear So and So letters, I told you that it was from a meme at   Kat, the author, hasn't posted one lately on her own site, until yesterday.  It was then that I realized there was a designated day of of the week for Kat to post the meme...Fridays.  I find it difficult to write to a "schedule", so I will probably continue to write letters when the mood strikes me.  I don't know if that somehow violates meme protocol and/or if Kat is disturbed by my irregular postings, I hope she lets me know. 

Dear So and So...
If any of you want to participate in Kat's meme, the button will take you to her site.  You can also go there to read the letters from all of her participants that follow the rules.  There are lots of them and some are quite funny!

Any way, on to my Dear So and So's.

To Whom It May Concern,

Please forward this to the appropriate complaint office:  That's enough now!  In recent months we have had troubles with the clothes washer, the hot water heater, the computer, and the furnace.   Even Mr. Fix-it (hmmm, that's a good alias for the Big Guy...maybe I'll have to change it.) As I was saying, even Mr. Fix-It reluctantly acknowledged these problems were beyond his abilities.  Each one required a service call and/or a replacement or repair of said appliance.  

In addition to the problems with the appliances, the Big Guy has strained his back (unrelated to the appliances!) and has needed multiple and on-going visits to doctors and physical therapy.  He still hasn't fully recovered from the Bell's Palsy either! 

In the overall scheme of life, none of these is particularly distressing, except they are all coming in a clump!  And they each cost money in varying amounts, some of which have taken quite a bite out of our coffers!  

We are done.  No more!  Everything in this house that is expected function better keep functioning or I'm going to start yelling....and you know that ain't good!  So Shape Up and get on with it!  Don't make me come over there!


Dear Time Keeper,

Tonight is, I believe, the night for the end of Daylight Saving Time.  Yeah, yeah, I know we get an extra hour of sleep, but then we also get shorter and shorter amounts of daylight for the next six weeks or so.  Now really, if time can be fiddled with willy-nilly, why can't we just have daylight saving time all the time?  If I remember correctly, Daylight Saving Time came about (maybe in the Depression??) in order to help the farmers make the best use of their time, by having more daylight hours to tend the fields. 

In the past few years thought changes have been made, no one is sure when it starts and stops anymore, but it definitely comes later and is over sooner than it used to be.  Why, then are we bothering with it at all?   I don't believe it even lasts a full four months now and it used to be a full five months. 

Time is just flying by anyway.  Let's spend as little of it as possible in the dark!

Daylight Melly

Dear Shoe Designers and Manufacturers,

I have not bought a pair of shoes (other than sandals) in almost three years.  I have no interest in wearing Gladiator platform footwear with 6 inch heels.  Even if I loved them (HA!), I would probably kill myself trying to hobble around on heels that high! 

Then there are the latest wrinkle that I've seen, the ones that look like they're boots that fit around the ankle and leg, but don't go down the rest of the way to the sole!  What in heaven's name are those??  All those leggy models and celebrities that I've seen wearing them look as though they are individuals who have been convicted of some crime and placed under house-arrest!  They look like those sensor thingies that let the cops know if somebody flies the coop!!  Really!

What ever happened to pretty shoes??  You made them for a while, but then these monstrosities took over.  Well, that's enough, fad over, how about you go back to making shoes for real people?


Dear Models and Celebrities,

Speaking of looking good, who ever told you it was a good idea to stand with one leg crossed over in front of the other for photos, was WRONG.  It doesn't make you look thinner or taller, it makes you look like you have to go to the bathroom!!!  So, unless you really do have to go to the "little girl's room" (now there's an insipid phrase!!), stand up straight in the graceful pose that we all learned in ballet class!

Mel, Charter Member, Posture Police

Dear Inventors and such,

Would you please stop promising things that you cannot deliver?  You know like, cheap fusion energy, paperless societies, flying cars for individuals, and robots who clean your house!  I've heard various writers, inventors, and scientists predict these  and other pie-in-the-sky additions to our lives for decades.  None of them has appeared in the realm of reality!  We don't have colonies on the moon or anywhere else.  We don't have computers that truly "think" or repair themselves.  We don't have all-weather fabrics that will protect us no matter what it's doing outside.  It goes on and on.

I am tired of cleaning my own house.  So where are those robots that are supposed to be eliminating this odious chore??  You keep predicting, but you don't deliver.  So either put up or shut-up about it!!  I'm tired of waiting!


1 comment:

  1. Things don't last like they use to. I have a stove that I wish would break but it keeps lasting and lasting! But something I love always breaks!
    Great post!


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