Friday, April 27, 2012

"Things I Couldn't Say" (aka Dear So and So)

Dear So and So...

'Tis Friday and that means its time for another set of virtual rants of "Things I Couldn't Say" sent in virtual letters to Dear So and So!  Read on....

Dear Merchants and Retailers,

After spending 20 minutes this evening once again scraping, scrubbing, pulling, rubbing, peeling, and cursing, I have had it!!  If you really MUST affix price tags directly to merchandise, does it HAVE to be in the most prominent position on whatever it is???  And if it MUST be in the most prominent position possible, does the adhesive HAVE to be industrial strength, impossible to remove by any means known to man??  I know that there are price tags that are much easier to remove!  Can't you all agree to use an adhesive which doesn't take the Army Corps of Engineers to overcome??  It's only a price tag, you know; not the sealant around a toxic waste dump!!  Sheesh!

Now needing a remedial manicure,


Dear Shoe Manufacturers,

On behalf of every man woman or child who ever worn shoes, I strongly urge you to do something completely radical!!  What, you ask?  STANDARDIZE SHOE SIZES AND WIDTHS!  At any given time, I can own shoes that could be any size between 6 1/2 and 8.  Why can't a size 7 be the same dimensions no matter who the manufacturer is??  Shouldn't they always be the same?  Isn't that the point of printing the sizes in the shoe????.  I can wear a 7M in one shoe, yet a similar style by a different maker will require that I buy an 8N!  This is not right!  It makes finding shoes that fit and are comfortable an exercise in frustration.  It means I must try on as many as five different sizes before I find one that actually fits my foot!  And that is only if they even HAVE a size I need!  I love shoes.  I love buying shoes.  I love shopping for shoes (until I get to the trying-on part....see above).  I would love buying more shoes, if it wasn't such a pain!!  There really shouldn't be such variation in sizing between companies.  It isn't rocket science!  Why should I be shoeless, because you are all clueless!!

Believe me, if I could afford it, I would buy custom-made shoes crafted specifically for my supposedly size 7 1/2 M feet!

Considering Going Barefoot,

P.S.  Clothing manufacturers should jump on this bandwagon too!


To all of my favorite restaurants,

Will you, please, STOP removing things I like from your menus!!!  And how do you know which of your menu items are my personal favorites in the first place??    I know you want my business, you certainly take my money quickly enough, but I can't buy what you don't serve!!   Stop it at once!

That is all,


Dear U.S. Postal Service,

Isn't there anything you can do to stop the flood of junk mail that inundates us all, everyday??  Stop giving it a special bulk rate, or only deliver it to those who agree to accept it, or eliminate the middle man and send it directly to the recycler!!  I don't want it.  I didn't want it the last 15 times they have sent it!  I'm not interested in any more insurance, credit cards, bank loans, mailing labels, greeting cards, magazine subscriptions, or ways to work at home!  The amount of junk mail that I personally have received over the years is probably responsible for the depletion of the rain forests or something.  I think I would even be willing to pay (a reasonably) small amount if you promise NOT to bring it to my house anymore.  How about it?  Can we agree to cease and desist?



Dear Blogland, ), hook up with her Linky and add your own! It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters even grumpier than mine!!

Your friend,


  1. Great post once again, Mel. I agree with all. I bought some double sided scrapbook papers the other day, and lo and behold, there was a price sticker stuck to one side. So that corner is wasted! Ugh! There were signs right above the bins telling the prices. BUT, of course, the cashier has to have the UPC code or whatever.
    Oh well, that's life in the not-so-fast lane, I guess.
    Keep up the good blogging. It makes my day to be able to read your blog and smile (sometimes I even laugh out loud.)

  2. How funny, Mellodee! And what about the supermarkets that overpack those cheap plastic bags that break as you are getting them out of the car. To say nothing of the bread that is packed on the bottom! xo Diana

  3. I came home with a new cell phone today. the clerk, myself and 3 of my boys could not get the sticker, "don't text and drive" off the screen. took like maybe 2 combined hours!


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