"All the World's a Stage" Story #7

About 25 years ago, there was a very talented young woman with whom I worked in several large scale musical comedies.  She was really an amazing performer; she could act, she could dance and she could sing and she was good at all three. 


What she wasn't though, was content with her physical attributes, particularly in the....uhhh.....chest (!) department.  Being the take charge type, she did something about it.  She had a boob job.  In fact, she was the very first person I actually knew who had it done. 


And I must say the "girls" turned out beautifully!  I knew that (as did everyone else) because she immediately stopped wearing a bra (even on stage)  and started wearing clingy t-shirts most of the time.   Her posture improved!   The girls were perfect....just the right shape and size for her frame, sexy without being overdone, perky (if you catch my drift).  And she was proud....very, very proud!


As I've said I worked in community theater which means that you don't usually have a permanent home, so you beg, borrow, or steal whatever you need and don't have!  For us that included renting the local high school's stage, lights, props, etc.  This particular high school had a very active performing arts program so they had everything we needed.  One of the perks that brought us, was a stage crew made up of teenagers who were active in the theater program.  Under supervision from their technical director, they ran lights, and sound, moved scenery, raised and lowered the curtain, in other words most of the "tech" stuff.  They had headsets so they could communicate with each other to keep things running smoothly.  They did a terrific job.


I must digress for just a moment.  There is one little truism that exists in theater that you most likely can't do a thing about:  When you are an actor, modesty frequently has to take a hike!!  Costume changes can and do occur just off stage when you have a quick change and no time to get to the dressing room.  It is a fact of life, you deal with it.  Most of the time your fellow actors and others just look the other way and respect your privacy within the limits of what needs to happen.  It's sort of like having "an elephant in the room!"  You ignore it and pretend it isn't there.


To recap for this tale....we had a "perky" star wearing a slinky gown with a microphone clipped to the V-neck....a quick change out of said evening gown just beyond the wings....about 7 teen-aged boys, all on headsets, who were extremely aware of the star's "assets"....and who would lurk around back stage when the change came up, hoping for a glimpse....it was a temptation too hard to resist for 15 and 16 year old boys....and a star who was very, very proud of her  perky girls!


Just before the costume change, the star is on stage singing a duet with the leading man, during which she grabs his hand and brings it to rest just over her heart.
On this particular night all the elements were in place....stars, song, mike, hand, lurking boys with headsets that were "live" (meaning all of the tech crew, not the audience, could hear what was said) all functioning just as they were supposed to!


The star and leading man began to sing and at the appropriate moment, star grabbed his hand, pulled it toward her chest where it landed directly over the microphone, causing a very loud clap to carry over the headsets of all the tech crew and was immediately followed by one lone boyish voice that said, "Oh my God!  They're HOLLOW!!!!"


 I don't believe any permanent damage was done to the boy's psyche.  The stage manager and the tech director were in hysterics back in the booth.  And the story was shared immediately with the cast!


 This is a true story.  I was there the night it happened.  It was funny then.  It is funny now.  The last I saw the star a few years ago, she was still perky and still proud!  I have heard, however, that now she wears a bra on stage!!


I gotta tell you, sometimes the cast has way more fun than the audience!