Friday, December 31, 2010

"Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" - Part 2

[Yesterday, I promised I'd finish our Christmas story today. 
I am sad to report I didn't get it all done. 
Can you hold on for one more day
to get to the happy ending??  I sure hope so! 
In the meanwhile, here's Part 2!]

Christmas Day!  Morning arrived (right on schedule), Santa had been here, unopened presents all over the living room, Christmas music playing, but there was no one here but the Big Guy and me.  The presents around the tree remained undisturbed. 

Ratchlet, TA, M-t-G, and the new dog were at their own home; opening presents there I'm sure.  But not us.  That's okay, we were able to sleep late, relax, watch a Christmas movie (off and on), and generally take our time to get ready before heading over to TA's mom's house for Christmas dinner and assorted merriment.

Unfortunately, I didn't have much of a Christmas feeling.  Everything was all out of kilter and it made me cranky and sad.  Over the course of the day I had words with the Big Guy and even with M-t-G....sometimes she can test my patience with very little effort (after all, she is only 9).  I was just not in a good place, everything irritated me.  It just didn't feel like Christmas! 

I was missing my mom and missing my dad, Little Sis was at home with her own kids (hardly kids anymore!) in Phoenix.  I hadn't spent Christmas with anyone but Mikey and Ratchlet's family in years and years.  Mom had died in 2004 and Daddy died in 1978, that was 33 years ago!!  Christmas was supposed to be about family and my remaining family was a very small one.  I missed having my aunts and uncles and cousins close by.  Almost all of the aunts and uncles were gone now, cousins were spread to the winds, Mikey's whole family lived far away too. 

Although TA's mom was perfectly gracious, they have their own traditions, but it just wasn't the kind of Christmas I was missing.  At the risk of sounding totally pathetic and wallowing in self-pity, I have no friends of substance here in Austin.  So there I was, cranky, lonely, sad with none of my family, none of Mikey's family, nor any friends' shoulders to cry on.  I was pretty much in the dumper.

To top it off, it was a grey, windy, cold day.  That never helps my mood!  Unfortunately it was cold both inside and outside.  TA's mom keeps her home much cooler than we do. 

I just felt like crying all day long.  When I'm having a bad day like this, my mood just keeps spiraling downward.   I confess that a couple of times I went and shed a few tears in the bathroom.  I did not feel at all jolly!  Plenty sorry for myself, but certainly not jolly! 

I even forgot to make the leek!!  (A traditional dish my family makes for Thanksgiving and Christmas.)  Everything really was out of kilter, but mostly it was just me having such an odd Christmas. 

As I had anticipated, we didn't get home until almost 9:00, so the plan to hold off our gift giving until Sunday was the right plan.  But Christmas - Part 2 was pretty much a bust as far as I was concerned.  So far Christmas 2010 was turning out to be a real low point for filing away in my Christmas memories. 

I was determined, however, that Christmas - Part 3 would get back on track.  Come hell or high water, our Sunday evening Christmas Eve would be a great success, or I would know the reason why!!

Christmas Interruptus!


  1. I feel so badly for you and your down in the dumps feelings. I think the older we get, the more traditions mean to us. Our offspring just don't understand that yet; but they will. I was missing my family that were gone, Mom, Dad and my late wife. But the bright side was that my melancholy couldn't last very long with the little ones around. Just watching them, young and innocent, made me smile again.
    I hope your Sunday Christmas Eve is/was successful.

  2. Christmas time is really hard at times! We miss our love ones and our kids just seem to do what they want to do. My youngest daughter had a melt down the day before. Not really sure why. I think she feels pulled in so many directions Christmas Eve and Day.


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