"Things I Couldn't Say" (aka Dear So and So....)

Christmas is over.  For most people, the holiday season is pretty much wrapped up and put away.   No more sweet and sappy Christmas stories.  So now I can get back to normal.  Back to the real me!!  It's time to VENT!!    



To my $%^*# Mean-Spirited Computer,

Okay, I get it.  You are tired of Christmas.  You don't want anything more to do with it.  You are entitled, I guess.  It's been pretty much non-stop Christmas around here for the last six weeks.  I do get it, really!  But did you HAVE to choose our two-page annual  Holiday Newsletter as your revenge??  You know the one....the newsletter I had been slaving over for three hours!!....the newsletter that was my last official pleasant duty relating to Christmas and the Holidays....the newsletter that was so darned difficult to write this year, because nothing much interesting happened?  THAT newsletter!!  Did you have to make it completely DISAPPEAR just after I finished it??  Did you have to completely ignore my intent to save the document and send it off somewhere into cyberspace instead??  I hadn't had time to make a back-up.  I hadn't had time to copy it.  I hadn't even had time to edit the darn thing.  And I really don't think I have it in me to recreate the whole bloody thing!

This was an act of pure cruelty, edged with meanness, and was certainly intentional!  Make no mistake,  you will be punished!!  (Just as soon as I figure out how to punish a supposedly inanimate object!)

Very Disappointedly,
Mel

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Dear Santa's Elves,

I figure things must have quieted down up there in the North Pole, now that the Christmas frenzy is over.  You guys probably don't have a lot to do.  It is a little soon to be started on next year's toys.  So, uhhh, how about ya'll come on over and get all this Christmas stuff packed up and put away for me??  I'll make cookies!    It'll be fun.  You can tell me all about Santa's bloopers! With a bunch of you little guys pitching in, we'll get it done licketdy-split!  So, what do you say, guys?   Guys??  GUYS????

Mel

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Dear January,

I don't mean to insult you or anything, but you are my least favorite month.  We have discussed this before, but it seems to have had little impact.  Every year you peak on the very first day of the year and it is usually all downhill from there.  Generally, there is nothing exciting about January.  Oh, I know some years you dump a bunch of dramatic snowstorms all over the country, but you know how I feel about cold, so snowstorms do not make much of a positive impression on me!  January is pretty much always grey, cold, dark, miserable, and un-ending.  January is like a big box of depression delivered every year whether it was ordered or not!  So this year I'm again suggesting....asking....begging you to just slide on by as quickly as you can and move out of the way for the rest of the year.  Winter doesn't HAVE to last forever, just because the calendar says so!  Right?  Are you listening to me??

Hopefully,
Mel

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Dear Friends and Family,

I am afraid that our annual family update will be delayed....postponed....cancelled this year.  This is completely due to a malicious computer that ate the letter before I could send it out. (See rant #1 above.) This is not like the old "the dog ate my homework" dodge, the computer really did eat the letter.  (And please do not start with the, " garbage in, garbage out" nonsense.  I've had this computer I long time.  It should know better by now!!) I am sorry there will be no letter, but don't worry, nothing much happened this year anyway.  If you are still interested in knowing what we did this year, may I suggest that you read this blog.  I spend an awful lot of time on it and some of it may actually amuse or entertain you. 

Despite this latest setback in our lives, as always we hope you all had a great and wonderful Christmas and we wish you a safe and healthy New Year!

With love,
Mel

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