"What Was It You Wanted?"

I really feel sorry for the folks who work at any kind of telemarketing or telephone research.  Trying to find people willing to participate must be a drag.  One of the reason I know this is true, is because when you answer the phone, they let go with a very fast and rather garbled spiel, hoping to get out a lot of information before the callee hangs up! Often it leads to some real confusion.

Case in point:

(Last night.  Telephone ringing.)

ME:   Hello

CALLER:  HellomynameisJohnandI'mcallingonbehalfofthe...(mumblemumble)....ResearchInstitueandI'mconductingasurveyon...(mumblemumble)...MayIaskforafewminutesofyourtime?

ME:  (Not sure what I was hearing)  Excuse me?

CALLER:  Hello mynameisJohn and I'mcallingonbehalf ofthe...(mumblemumble)....ResearchInstitue. I'mconductinga surveyon...(mumblemumble)...MayIask forafewminutes ofyourtime?

ME:  (Still not sure of what he was saying)  I'm sorry, but what firm are you from?

CALLER:  The...(mumble)...research....

ME: (Interrupting)   Did you say the "Sexual" Research Institute?

CALLER:  Oh no, no, no!  No, ma'am.  The "CENTRAL" Research Institute!

ME:  Oh!  Well, darn, now I don't know if I should be relieved or disappointed!!  (laughing!)

CALLER:  (Whoop of laughter!)  I'm sorry (giggling) for the confusion. (still giggling).  Would you be able to spare a few minutes?

ME:  (Laughing too)  Oh Sure, have at it!

CALLER:  First question:  How often would you say you voted in the Republican Primary Election?  Always, Frequently, Occasionally, or Never?

ME:  NEVER!!  (Me, a Republican???  Ha!)

CALLER:  Thank you for your time!  (Hang up.)


Well, phooey!  I probably would have had a better time with a Sexual Survey!!