"Five Foot Two"

One of commenters from yesterday's post about things I just don't get, wrote about her difficulties with a car visor not being much use because she, too, is petite and doesn't sit tall enough in the seat for the visor to block out the sun!  I know whereof she speaks!  LOL!

That got me thinking about all the other drawbacks of being....ahem....short.

I reached my full height by age 14, never grew a speck taller; wider, yes.... taller, no!  So I proceeded to live the rest of my life at 5 ft., 2 1/2 in. tall.  Strangely enough once I hit adulthood, I never thought of myself as short.  I consider my height and size combination as petite.  Sounds a whole lot nicer than short, don't you think?? 

Perhaps, one of the reasons I've never considered myself short is that I usually wore heels to work, tall heels (well, a three inch heel was as tall as you could get in a shoe back then!).  I wore them all day long and into the evening sometimes.  So I knew I looked to be taller than I was.  Still, every now and then, someone would all of a sudden, out of nowhere, break off from what was being said, look at me, and say some variety of "My God, you're SHORT".   Really?  Well, thanks for the newsflash! 

So may I just share with you some of the perils of being on the low end of the height curve??  

1.  In grade school, you are usually the shortest kid....and teachers are immensely fond of saying "line up by height".  So there you are stuck at the head of the line.  That means your the first one in and the last one out.  Not too bad if the line is for getting a little bag of Halloween candy.  Not so good for getting a booster shot for something!

2.  In group photos, you always look like you are standing in a hole!

3.  You never see parades, unless you wiggle and worm your way through the crowds to get to the curb where they put the kids....you know, the little ones you can see over!

4.  Some car seats do not adjust enough so that you can comfortably reach both the pedals AND see over the steering wheel at the same time.  According to safety guidelines, you are supposed to leave a certain amount of space between you and the steering column, otherwise if you are too close, if the airbag becomes engaged, it could break your nose!!  Oh swell!

5.  It is impossible to reach the top shelf of most grocery stores.  If you need something from the top shelf you have to go find a tall person, who will always LAUGH before they help you!  The same is true for Libraries and many, many stores like Target or Hobby Lobby.

6.  Finding clothes that fit is a real challenge.  Petite clothing helps, but then you run into style issues and what is age-appropriate.  I'm short, not 14 or 80!!

7.  When you are short, slow dancing with anyone over 5'l0" is dangerous to your health!  You can get severe neck strain trying to look at them when they are talking!!  Or sometimes it makes you lose your balance and topple over backwards.   They also assume you are a pervert or something because if you just look straight ahead you find yourself talking to their lower anatomy!!

8.You can never become a Rockette!  Or Miss America!  Or a fashion model! 

9.  It is all but impossible for someone to find you in a crowd!

10.  You can't see very well at movies, or church, or concerts, or plays, because the people who sit in front of you are ALWAYS tall and wide in the torso, even when they are sitting down!

11.  People tell you to stand up when you are speaking at meetings and gatherings when you are already standing.

12.  Some people insist on treating you like you are a child or mentally challenged.  That's just insulting!

13.  If you sit all the way back in a large chair, your feet will not touch the floor!  In fact, a lot of furniture makes you feel like you are Edith Ann in the rocking chair!!! 

14.  Sooner or later your children will shoot up like weeds and surpass your height, even the girls, and you will lose whatever size advantage you ever had and your authority will begin to dwindle away.
 
15.  Then to add insult to injury, at some point most people begin to shrink as they get older!!  How unfair is that???   When you aren't tall to begin with, shrinking turns you into a Munchkin until you finally just disappear all together.  (Well, ok, that's not true.)  Still, where do you think the phrase "LITTLE old lady" came from??

Really it's enough to make a grown woman cry, stamp her feet, and have a full scale tantrum!!