"Certified Blues"

I'm sorry to have to say it, but I seem to have the "Certified Blues"!   I'm cranky and restless and generlly dissatisfied with life right now.  Now there is no reason to worry or anything, this is not life threatening or anything, I just do not deal well with the sun disappearing for weeks on end with only tiny peeks through the clouds every 3rd or 4th day.   My Seasonal Affective Disorder hasn't gone away.  I'm SAD.  I hate being SAD!

Years ago, I had a boss I had worked with for a long time introduce me to a new member of our staff.  I'll never forget it.  He said, "I'd like you to meet my assistant.  She's been a great help to me and she's a great resource for you too.  Of course, she's in a bad mood from January thru March, but the rest of the time she's great." 

Oh yeah, he knew me well!! 

We were living in Chicago at the time, and that's not the best place to find sunshine in the wintertime!  A few years later we moved to California and I thought, "Great!  It never rains in California.  No grey!"  May I be the first to mention if you did not already know this, the song LIES!  It rains like hell in California, practically all winter long some years!!  And even if there's no rain, there is still fog and grey, windy days.   So I was still SAD in CA.

Fast forward a few more years and off we went to Texas.  The first few years we were here were great!  Winter was truly mild and the sun shone a lot.  It was super.  I didn't get SAD at all.  But the last two winters have swung to the other side of the pendulum and the rain, the grey, the fog, the lack of sun has been happening pretty much daily.

I remember the first flight I was ever on that took off into a big, grey, rainy cloud bank that covered the whole sky.  It was an awful day in Chicago.  We were flying somewhere for a business thing the Big Guy had.  I was very SAD and didn't really want to go anywhere or do anything.  Nevertheless, off we went into the "wild grey yonder" straight into the clouds where it didn't seem like you could see a foot in front of the plane.  It only took about 30 seconds or less, but suddenly, we broke through the clouds into wonderful, beautiful blue sky sunshine!   When you looked toward the ground, all you could see was the top of this huge cloud bank.  It looked like great big white puffy, cotton balls spread like a blanket below.   It was gorgeous! 

I guess I had never really thought about it, but I was simple amazed that on the ground it was a horrible, ugly day, but just a few thousand feet straight up, the sun shining brightly, doing its thing, just like always.  I never realized that before that flight.   Sometimes knowing that the sun is still up there is reassuring and can help me fight off my SAD-ness.  Other times, it just makes me mad!!

Well, today I'm MAD-SAD again.  I think maybe I've written about this before....so if this is a repeat of old news, I apologize.  It just when it gets like this I can get so far down Misery Road, that I can't think about much of anything else.  It's the reason I haven't been inspired to write much lately. 

I hope it doesn't last much longer.  MAD-SAD isn't a nice place to be!
I'm so ready to be rid of these "certifiable blues"!