Writing is such a mysterious thing. You get an idea (THAT'S a whole 'nother story!) for a subject that seems like it might make an interesting (or funny, thought-provoking, informative..... whatever) post. So you sit down and start to write. Sometimes the words practically tumble over one another and you type furiously, trying to capture them all before they slip away. Your thought process translates easily into words and the tale progresses in logical and orderly fashion without much conscious effort. You know where to start and you know how to finish. I love that kind of day. It is when I feel most like I am not just a wannabee! On the days when the words flow, I feel like I am, indeed, a writer!
Then there is the other side of the coin. The days when even if you have a thought to share, finding the words and committing them to "paper" is completely impossible. It is almost as if suddenly I find myself trying to write in a foreign language! Even if I can actually get a sentence or two down, nothing makes any sense. I struggle and manipulate the words and the phrases but it's pointless.... what seemed like it would be a good subject ultimately sounds childish and banal and completely not worth the struggle. I can't even remember why I thought I could write anything. On those days (of which there are too many), I cannot believe anyone would want to read what I'm trying to write.....including me! So I have no choice but to walk away and come back to write on another day.
After two full years of writing this blog, I have come to realize that there is a third type of experience. I think of these as the wandering subjects! I feel like writing, I have my topic, the words are coming along as needed. It's good! Somewhere around the middle, it hits me. I'm no longer writing about my original subject! The story has morphed into a completely different topic or focus! Without my being aware of it, the story has gone off on a tangent all by itself! Whoa! Stop! Runaway horse!! I have heard professional writers have this problem sometimes with the characters in their novels, but that's fiction and the characters take on a life of their own. I don't write fiction! I can't do characters. My writing is mostly about things or ideas, they have no personality to become strong enough to take over! At least I thought so! So how does this happen?
I will stop and try to fix it. But that never really works too well, because both parts have some good stuff and I can't decide if the post is about Point A or Point B. Evidently the two somewhat connected but independent thoughts, must go hand in hand. Unfortunately, the conscious me (obviously NOT the me that is actually doing the writing) can't seem to tie the whole thing together and have it really say something rather than just some random stream of consciousness thoughts that don't end up coming together at all.
This is the kind of writing that I find the most difficult, because I will work on it and work on it and add and delete and then put back, but it's just not going to work. No matter how many hours I fiddle with it, it's a wasted effort. I just cannot make it into anything worthwhile! What a waste of time. I end up with nothing resolved and nothing to post! Darn!
So I close it out, save it and put it aside (that would be in the "draft" category). Perhaps on a day when the words are flowing like wine, I'll take a look at it again and give it another go. But then, perhaps not!
Boy, am I glad I don't depend on writing for my income! I'd never get a dime!