Friday, July 1, 2011
"Things I Couldn't Say" (aka Dear So and So)
Dear Darling Daughter and family,
I know you have a child who doesn't like to sit still. I know that you have limited time off to accomplish all the things you want/need to do. I know that the three of you enjoy doing things together and sometimes just don't have the ability to take the time to relax.
However, this is your vacation! Vacate, as in vacate your usual routine. Please get some rest, all of you. You are always running at full speed. You cannot keep that up, it is not healthy.
I'm your mother, I worry.
Dear Darling Husband,
I know that you are planning on starting a major diet right after the 4th. That's great! Just remember that spending the last few days before it starts, loading up on all your favorite foods and eating everything in sight would be really counter-productive!
Your loving spouse
Dear Mother Nature,
I know that it is summer and that makes me happy. However, the weather is hot and that is very bothersome to some of your creatures. Nevertheless, I would seriously appreciate your trying to keep all your flying bugs and baby Geckos (and their parents) OUT OF MY GARAGE!! I swear they race me to the door when I go inside! They are faster than I could ever be. I assume they are trying to cool off, but I really don't care! I do not want them in my house! Truly, I don't! So if you could keep them outside of the garage, I will be much happier. Actually, if you could keep them in another county I'd be happier still!
Dear Mother Nature,
And another thing....
We have lived in Texas for 10 1/2 years. We are currently in our third bout of major draught. Do you not like Texas? I know most of the state is filled with tumbleweed, cactus, rock, and desert-like terrain for miles and miles and miles. But not, however, in Austin! We have vegetation, plants, grass, and wildflowers. It's supposed to be green here, not brown. Without water (commonly known as RAIN) the lovely green hills are ugly brown. Lake Travis is looking more and more like Puddle Travis every day. Man-made lakes that are really reservoirs are not supposed to have sand bars!
To say nothing of the landscaping all around town. Millions of dollars (I'd bet) are spent trying to create lovely lawns, gardens, and courtyards. But all the money in the world can't save plants when there is not enough rain.
So could you check into what is causing the bottleneck, please?? Whatever it is, you need to pull the plug and let it pour! We'd all be grateful.
Dear Credit-Card Companies,
You are doing it again! You are treating your customers like brainless dopes! I, for one, seriously resent it.
All of your awards, points, cash-back, or whatever programs to entice us to sign up with you are just a huge scam!! After we spend gazillions of dollars, you "award" us measly rewards. But the ONLY thing you can do with most of them, is use them to BUY MORE STUFF! And it's usually a bunch of stuff I don't need or want! How stupid do you think we are? Isn't it bad enough that we stupidly agree to pay outrageous sums in interest for the privilege of using your "service"? Do you really have to try to pull the wool over our eyes by offering a "benefit" that is no benefit at all?
Oh sure, it sounds good, "Earn Cash Back on Your Purchase!" HA! At best, that is misleading; at worst, it is something like "bait and switch". The "cash" you award, goes right back into YOUR pocket, NOT mine!
So please, no more opportunities to buy junky useless crap, I'm not interested. No more offers of points, or cash, or bonuses, that serve only to increase your profits!! If you want to give me cash back, I'd like to remind you that cash is green, comes in rectangular pieces of paper, and is the legal tender of this country. Giving me cash back, should result in money for ME, NOT YOU!
Angry about your greed!
If you like Dear So and So, and want to give it a try, just pop over to Kat's Place at Three Bedroom Bungalow ( http://3bedroombungalow.blogspot.com/ ), hook up with her Linky and add your own! It's a great way to blow off steam, and you can read lots of other letters!
Your friend, Mel